The Day after...

...St Valentine's Day

So yesterday was St Valentine's Day*...a day when many people express love to others - I actually think it's being overused/abused but that's another post's content. As I thought about it, and how people now "show" "love" or appreciation to people around them, I wondered how many people extend that "Valentine Spirit" to their pastor's wives.

I then went and looked for other suggestions on how to love Mrs Pastors and they were very consistent. I'll summarize them so you can LEAP in love towards the Mrs Pastors around you.

1. Love her for who she is as she is - she's a "normal" person
2. Encourage her with your words and works - a smile, a gift
3. Ask her how you can help - Mrs Pastors also need help
4. Pray for her regularly - no need to boast about it though. I believe very strongly that if you say you "love" your Pastor you must love his wife...not I didn't say you need to like her. I know that some people may not like me and I'm fine with that. God didn't command us to like everyone, He said we must love everyone. And to love your pastor's wife, is to pray for her - she, I mean we (Mrs Pastors) need more help than you can imagine. To help you, help us up in the place of prayer check out this website - https://www.reviveourhearts.com/articles/30-day-praying-for-your-pastors-wife/

Here are some more details on the tips and more tips:

https://www.reviveourhearts.com/true-woman/blog/seven-ways-to-love-your-pastors-wife-well/
http://www.holyhenhouse.com/ten-ways-to-bless-and-encourage-your-pastors-wife/
http://ministry127.com/ladies-ministry/7-ways-to-encourage-your-pastor-s-wife
http://joemckeever.com/wp/pastors-wife-vulnerable-person-church/


Wishing you a lovely and loving year ahead...


Source:
* Per Wikipedia - A popular hagiographical account of Saint Valentine of Rome states that he was imprisoned for performing weddings for soldiers who were forbidden to marry and for ministering to Christians, who were persecuted under the Roman Empire. According to legend, during his imprisonment, he healed the daughter of his jailer, Asterius. An embellishment to this story states that before his execution he wrote her a letter signed "Your Valentine" as a farewell.


Recommended Reading: What Your Pastor’s Wife Needs Most in a Friend  http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/what-your-pastors-wife-needs-most-in-a-friend/

5 Misconceptions about Pastors’ Wives*

Here's the concluding part...

5 Misconceptions About Pastors’ Wives*

Guess who I got this from? My husband... and I like sharing

Seven things a Pastor should understand about his wife*

When I saw this piece, I decided to share it....as I celebrate my husband who knows these and more about me... 

This month, we focused on “The Unforgotten Bride” in the Perry Noble leadership podcast…basically, we talked about the pastor’s wife and how she quite often is the most under appreciated and under valued person in the church…by the pastor (her husband!)  You can go to the “Perry Noble Leadership Podcast” on iTunes and download the episode for free.  (It would actually be beneficial for any husband and wife to listen through!)

Today, I wanted to share seven things a pastor (or any husband) should understand about his wife…

#1 – Your wife is not your servant…and God’s #1 call on her life is NOT for her to be impressed with you.  When you expect her to be impressed with you, the way for an affair has been prepared because your biggest desire is to have your ego stroked and not to be the man God has called you to be…one who is unselfish and loves His wife like Christ loves the church.

What NOT to say to a Pastor’s Wife*

 I got this piece and decided  share it...would be nice to read your thought on this.

Author’s note: I wish Margaret were here to help with this one.  As my wife of over 52 years and through our six pastorates covering 42 years, I suppose she heard it all.  As of January, 2015, she’s now resting in the arms of her Savior. In her memory and in her honor, I send this forth to encourage church members to bless this dear lady married to the shepherd whom God sent to your church.  Please see the disclaimer at the end.

“Encourage one another and lift up one another…” (I Thessalonians 5:11, somewhat, and a favorite line in an old chorus)

Be human

Before we go to far, let me point out that the title is: "Be human" not "Be fleshy." I need to point that out because I know there are times when I see a word and layer an alternate meaning on it sometimes based on the fact that I've seen/heard people use the words interchangeably or even done that myself.

This one thing...

The inspiration for this post - especially as the first for this year was from a simple yet profound statement from Pastor Geri Scazzero. Talking to Mrs. Pastors, she said:

"You do not have to have a vision to plant churches, you just need to have a vision (I add, and desire), to love your husband."

I agree(d) whole-heartedly because love is such a powerful force. Now, I do recognize that Mrs. Pastors are at different points on the "How do you feel about being Mrs. Pastor?" spectrum which ranges from "I sure did not bargain for this, I don't want to be a Pastor's wife" to "Praise God! Being married to a Pastor is a prayer answered."  

When you take your eyes off your husband's "position" and focus on one thing - your passion for him, you'll find a deep desire to see and support him succeed in all he lays his hands on. Think about it, it was love for us that made Jesus give up His life* so we could have all good things in life. I pray that you'll join me in renewing our resolve to focus on this one thing...

Happy New Leap Year. May your love for God & for each other grow in leaps & bounds.

AMEN!

References:

* Romans 5:8 - But God shows [demonstrates; proves] his great [own] love for us in this way: Christ died for us while we were still sinners. (AMP)

Romans 8:32 - God didn’t spare his own Son but handed him over to death for all of us. So he will also give us everything along with him. (GWT) 

Learning from Mrs. P

Just in case you didn't catch it, I'm sharing a learning from "Mrs. P" not from a Mrs. Pastor. So this is one lesson that is applicable to all wives - Mrs. Pastor or not. Mrs. P's influence and impact is amazing considering that she has only one verse of Scripture to her name. Let’s read it together:

"Do it this (my) way"

Do you ever feel like that? Personally, there are times when I see how someone is doing some delegated task(s) that I want to go over and say: "Do it this (my) way."

Deep or Debate?

We must actively seek and properly utilize every opportunity we have to spread the Word of Life. Who knows? You may just be tilling the ground, sowing the seed, watering it, weeding or even be the instrument for bringing in the harvest. Whatever our role is, we must take it seriously for as long as we have our breath. We must make good use of the time God provides for us to spend with others. In spending time, sharing the Word, we need to be careful that we don't squander and waste our time. It's easy to go down that route with "deep" discussions. I find that if you're not careful, the discussion could degenerate to a debate and get downgraded to debasement. Debating with or debasing people rarely, if ever, brings them to Christ. "Debating is not going to save anyone." @EllaOnakoya


We must consciously and constantly assess whether our discussions are deep or a debate; Paul knew that and warned more than once - in fact twice in the same chapter:

Tit 3:9 - But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. (NIV)

2 Timothy 2:14 - Remind them of these things and warn them in the sight of God not to engage in battles over words that aren’t helpful and only destroy those who hear them.

2 Timothy 2: 16 - Stay away from foolish, useless talk,

because that will lead people further away from God. (NCV)

Stay away from people who talk about useless things that are not from God.

That kind of talk will lead a person more and more against God. (ERV)



Here's a recent example: A few months ago, someone (at work) read this and my other blogs and wanted to have a discussion with me. In fact, the person not only wanted to share their thoughts but actually plant seeds (more like weeds) on topics for me to write on. As our conversation progressed, rather than deepen, it digressed...the person started talking about what they don't believe in etc. At the risk of starting a debate about, I stopped responding.
Later, I prayed for the person because that's a better use of my time than debating.