Take a LEAP...

At the time I wrote this title, I had no idea what the content of the post would be.
Then I was inspired to look for pictures - it is true that a picture is worth a thousand words...

Be human

Before we go to far, let me point out that the title is: "Be human" not "Be fleshy." I need to point that out because I know there are times when I see a word and layer an alternate meaning on it sometimes based on the fact that I've seen/heard people use the words interchangeably or even done that myself.

"Catch..."

(oops it dropped)

Has that ever happened to you? I'm sure you're wondering what the question is about.

Beyond giving cheerfully

Like many Ministers, Mrs. Pastors included, I have quoted this verse to buttress the need for us to always give cheerfully:

You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.”*  

Recently, as I was preparing for the next post on my Mrs. Pastor Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/DearMrsPastor), the word "Generous" was continuously impressed on my heart though I wanted to write on "Gracious" - which is a very important quality as we consider the "A-Z of Mrs. Pastor." I surrendered and as the Holy Spirit expounded the word using the Word, it expanded beyond a 5-sentence piece to a full fledged post - so I'll link both.

For all...not for some

A week after I posted the piece "It's got nothing to do with it*," I was thinking about other commandments and this one came to mind.

Matthew 5:14-16
“You are the light that shines for the world to see. You are like a city built on a hill that cannot be hidden. People don’t hide a lamp under a bowl. They put it on a lampstand. Then the light shines for everyone in the house. In the same way, you should be a light for other people. Live so that they will see the good things you do and praise your Father in heaven.” (ERV)

3 things struck me about this passage:

The first thing is that this is one commandment for each & every one of us - every Christian.
No exceptions. I agree that light comes in different wattage but they all have the same purpose - which to dispel and displace darkness - when we function as we should.

The 2nd thing is this is an expectation for each day, not just on Sundays. As Mrs. Pastor, I'm sad when I see people who are different depending on where or when you meet or see them. Do you know any such? We need to help people realize that there is no value in "putting up an act" for your Pastor or his Mrs - rather be concerned about what God sees all the time.

Thirdly, we are expected to shine before all men (people), not just before church members.

So as we shine constantly, let's encourage other Christians around us to do likewise daily.

Reference:

* http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2015/02/it-has-nothing.html

 

Helping (Heavy) Hands

I really love reading this passage of scripture - it always challenges me.

Exodus 17:10-14 - ¹⁰So Joshua did as Moses said and fought with Amalek; and Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the hilltop.¹¹ When Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed; and when he lowered his hand, Amalek prevailed. ¹² But Moses’ hands were heavy and grew weary. So [the other men] took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Then Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side and one on the other side; so his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. (Amplified)

Each time I read this, though it's easier to, I rarely think about others - I think about myself.
I challenge myself to be Aaron and Hur on the hilltop all the time. Note that I didn't say that I want to be Aaron always... because we know that Aaron led the people to sin later (see Ex 32) and even spoke against Moses (see Num 12:1-11). Nor do I want to be Hur because the only other time I see him mentioned in the Bible was as Bezaleel's grandfather (see Ex 31:2) - which makes me wonder if this was the first and last time he helped Moses.

This passage is particularly important for me because as Mrs. Pastor, I have insider information on when my husband's hands are getting heavy even if he doesn't want to admit it and of course know when mine are too. I'm already my husband's help-meet - so I do my part to help him but it's easy to wonder why others are not stepping up to help. Infact when all that happens, I move beyond wondering about others to reconsider all that I'm doing to help. I've come to realize that sometimes the best way to help heavy hands - my husband's or mine - is to scale back on all we're doing.

 

Sometimes we actually get weary because we're doing too much - yes more than God has asked us to or even gone ahead to do things without God telling us to. In the passage above, we know that God commanded Moses to go to the hilltop and hold up his hands. Moses was clear on what he needed to do. Aaron and Hur were also clear on what Moses needed to do so it was "easier" for them to support him and help him achieve it. They used their hands to help, not hurt Moses. May God help us and our husbands to be clear on what He wants us to do and use our hands "helpfully." God always sends help for heavy hands...doing His will.

"Live with"

When I was looking for leadership quotes for a piece I was writing on my Professional* blog, I came across this one. I read it more than once and then decided, this is one to be shared "Pastorally."

It must be in the name...

I spent some part of Friday night and Saturday watching final goodbyes to an amazing couple.
It was both very sad and extremely sobering.
Person after person talked about how this Mrs. Pastor, who's husband was known all over the world, was content to be his helpmeet - in the shadows. In all the years, I'd heard and read Myles Munroe, I'd never heard his wife, Pastor Ruth Ann, speak but he never left anyone in doubt on how much she meant to him.

As I thought about it, I wondered if her name had anything to do with it all. The Bible tells us about her namesake: 

^16-17 But Ruth said, “Don’t force me to leave you; don’t make me go home. Where you go, I go; and where you live, I’ll live. Your people are my people, your God is my god; where you die, I’ll die, and that’s where I’ll be buried, so help me God - not even death itself is going to come between us!”*

In this sad situation, she stood/sat by her husband right to the end. I guess for me the lesson from this was I must seek to complement my husband at all times. I agree that the names may be coincidental however, it was evident that she was clear on her purpose in life, marriage and ministry and was committed to it right to the end.

Another thing that stood out for me, from the tributes was that she took time to live fully with her friends. For some, being Mrs. Pastor can be lonely so we need to have a few friends. And beyond that, "make" and take time to spend quality time relaxing with them.

After such an emotionally-charged weekend, my prayer is that God will help us number our days, enjoy each day and also know and do all we have been called to do to His glory. AMEN!

Reference:
*Ruth 1:16-17 (MSG) 

Ways to show your church you love them* (4)

You'd think that after 3 weeks, we have enough tips on how to show our church that we love them. In some ways and with some of the tips in this and previous posts**, it almost feels like we should have a t-shirt that says just that - obviously someone has already come up with that idea :)

Let's move on...

Ways to show your church you love them* (3)

3rd week in a row, we've been sharing Sandra Peoples' tips. The key for me is not to try to do it all at once. In fact, there are some that will take time as you'll notice in this week's post:

17. Give generously of your time, money, and possessions. Mrs. Pastor: I remember talking a bit about giving** 2 years ago. It's truly a blessing and a grace to be able and willing to give. All I'll say is give your time to your family first...they are your first ministry.
18. Be visible and approachable around church. Mrs. Pastor: This is important - never put yourself on a pedestal.*** We must be an asset, not an accessory in and to our church. 
19. Realize that some of the pressure you put on yourself is just that- self-inflicted, and not from the church. Mrs. Pastor: This shows up in many ways. #17 above is a classic example of a tip that trips some of us up. Much as you may want to or believe you have to be, you don't have to be at everyone's beck and call. There's just not "enough of you." Some do things for others...just no one "says anything bad." Some others pressurize themselves in the dress arena.**** The list goes on... Depressurize so you don't explode or implode.
20. Take time to feed yourself spiritually- grow in the spiritual disciplines of prayer, bible study, and worship. Mrs Pastor: We must give ourselves the gift of time.***** I wrote about this 2 years ago and have really tried (and in many cases, succeeded) in finding and giving myself "do-nothing time." Once again confirming that, if you seek, you will find.
21. Don’t take a job or position just because if you don’t no one else will, allow others to step up and use their gifts. Mrs Pastor: I give myself a B+ here. Over this year, I have really gotten better at this - even if it feels like ants are crawling all over me. I've come a long way from when I wrote the piece on "What do you do in church?"****** I intend to get to an A+ soon. 
22. Get to know women in different life stages from your own and learn from them. Mrs Pastor: This is a great tip. I'm working on this but can do more here.
23. Be willing to accompany your husband on visits and in meetings so he is not alone with a woman. Mrs Pastor: This is a "by your husband's side" time...and the truth is you sometimes you don't know when others will be out and only the "woman" is home. I know it's not always possible especially at those times our husband spring visitation plans on us - that disrupt our planned family or even "me" time. Where possible, postpone something rather then let your husband be "exposed" - knowing that sometimes it's the visit that needs to be postponed.

We'll complete these next week...would be nice to know how you're doing so far.



References:
*http://www.sandrapeoples.com/pastors-wives-show-your-church-you-love-them/
** http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2012/12/giveand-let-go.html
*** http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2014/01/on-shelf.html
**** http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2013/08/mrs-pastor-vs.html
***** http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2012/12/the-gift.html
****** http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2012/01/what-do-you-do-in-church.html

Ways to show your church you love them* (2)

This is a continuation from last week's post. As usual, my comments will be in purple font.

10. Keep confidential matters confidential.
Mrs. Pastor: This is so true. Remember when I asked "Basket or Bucket?"** The fact that someone shared something with you doesn't mean you need to share it with anyone else (except your husband). For me the only exception is when it borders on Tip 12 below. We can all see smell and taste gossip when we hear it...yes all our senses pick up on it. However, in such cases ask God for wisdom on how to handle them.
11. You can’t do all things for all people, but be careful not to just do some things for some people.
12. Do not participate in gossip.
13. Respect your husband as the head of your family and the leader of your church.
Mrs. Pastor: At home and in church.
14. Spare your friends in the church the details of your marriage, find other women to share with who are not in your church.
15. Be real about your life, family, and weaknesses. Mrs. Pastor: This is so true. We must be real and relatable. Follow me on https://www.facebook.com/DearMrsPastor
16. Keep your home tidy (I’m not saying immaculate) for visitors. Mrs. Pastor: But first for your family - so it's obvious they are more important to you than visitors.

We'll continue next week....

References:
*http://www.sandrapeoples.com/pastors-wives-show-your-church-you-love-them/
** http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2014/02/basket-or-bucket.html

Ways to show your church you love them*

Last month was "Pastor's appreciation month" - so I decide to "repay" that appreciation in a way...and was blessed to find this piece by Sandra Peoples...my comments will be in purple font.

Twelve tips for Pastors’ Wives* (2)

This week, I'll focus on “Internal affairs” – yes, your family.  My comments are in purple font.

Support your Husband

That should be pretty obvious – but somehow it can be lost amidst the flurry of activities, family commitments, church events etc. If you are new to the whole thing and trying to carve out a niche for yourself, you can easily forget that actually your primary role in this ‘job’ is to support your husband. You are, after all ‘the pastor’s wife’. I remember a good friend in one of the churches we served saying to me that in all of the things I did and for all the ministries I was involved in, I could be replaced – but no one else could be the pastor’s wife. You have a unique role there and, although it may not be popular today when we as women are encouraged to ‘find ourselves’, part of your role is to support your husband in the calling which God has given him. There will be things which he can’t share with anyone else; there will be days when he wants to give up; there will be nights when he can’t sleep. Who else is he going to share those things with? Take that calling seriously – and be there for him at those times when he is at his most vulnerable. It is a tremendous privilege. Mrs P: Without him, you wouldn't be Mrs Pastor...and no one else can be his wife. Whatever you do, complement don't compete with him. A compliment now and again helps.
 

Protect your Children

Our children have a tremendous privilege growing up in pastoral families. They can get to see church as God intended it. They may see God work in amazing ways. They experience miracles firsthand. They receive unexpected gifts, maybe even wonderful vacations. Their Dad may be free to attend sports events or other activities during the working day because his time is more flexible than other Dads’ time.

But they also see church as we fallen human beings can make it. They know the toll it takes. They see their weary parents. They know the times when their Dad isn’t available because there’s a crisis going on. They hear criticism too.

So make sure they are aware of all the positive aspects of being a Pastor’s kid – and guard them when you can from the negative side, whether that is pressure from others or criticism of their Dad. Try to make sure they don’t overhear conversations they would be better not hearing. And release them from pressure which comes from others. Mrs P: A few weeks ago, I shared a very thought-provoking and hopefully an action-demanding, piece on pitfalls to avoid.**

Guard your Family Time

Emergencies….now there’s a problem. What exactly constitutes an emergency? The trouble is that everyone thinks their problem is an emergency. Whether it’s little Johnny who has fallen at school, his Mum who has gone into labour at home, or his granny who is in hospital for her knee operation – they all need your husband and they need him now. We are all the same when we’re in need – we want help and we want it now. But very few problems are emergencies. Even that distressing telephone call when the young woman assures you that her marriage is about to break up if your husband doesn’t come now – even that is not an emergency. It has taken 10 years to get to that point and if they have to wait 24 hours until your husband can see them, that is not going to make any difference – in fact it may actually give them some time to gain a better perspective. So here’s my advice for what it’s worth: guard family meal times (put the telephone answering machine on and let it take the calls); set weekly family times when you can do something together (exactly what will depend on the ages of your kids); and plan annual family holidays which do not include church camps etc. A complete break is good for everyone and will mean that you can go back refreshed and renewed. Mrs P: I need to work on the weekly family time - besides watching TV together. I agree that's a start. I also play games like "Whot," "Ludo" or "Ayoo" with our children with my husband watching us - sometimes. At least, we're all in the same "space" and that counts.

References:
* http://talesfromtaughlumny.wordpress.com/ministry-matters/twelve-tips-for-pastors-wives/
**http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2014/02/5-ways-to-teach-your-children-to-hate.html

Remain his wife

Husband: "You're my wife!" 

Wife: "Yes and I don't want to become your widow!"

What would you do if you overhear an exchange similar to this? I was amused and totally agreed with the wife's response. In this instance, a wife was trying to encourage, more like force, her husband to eat healthy and he was demanding things he shouldn't eat and brought out the "you are my wife!" hammer...

It reminded me of how too many men use (and sometimes abuse) the popular "Wives submit to your husbands"* phrase. After listening to that exchange I started asking myself how much I express and exert the "I want to remain your wife, not become your widow" mindset.

As Mrs Pastor, my husband is busier than __________, ok I don't know who. The bottom line is, he's busy - I'm sure you know what I mean. Remember the "Where is my husband?" piece - you can read it again if you missed it.**

Much as we've been called to serve others, we must always remember that we can go further in ministry as we stay strong and healthy. As this year wraps up, please make one resolution  (for life) to remain your husband's wife, and not to become his widow. Similarly take really good care of yourself - including remaining attractive :) - so he remains your husband and not your widower.

Reference:
* Eph 5: 22 - 30 - ²² You wives must submit to your husbands’ leadership in the same way you submit to the Lord. ²³ For a husband is in charge of his wife in the same way Christ is in charge of his body the Church. (He gave his very life to take care of it and be its Savior!) ²⁴ So you wives must willingly obey your husbands in everything, just as the Church obeys Christ.
²⁵ And you husbands, show the same kind of love to your wives as Christ showed to the Church when he died for her, ²⁶ to make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and God’s Word;²⁷ so that he could give her to himself as a glorious Church without a single spot or wrinkle or any other blemish, being holy and without a single fault. ²⁸ That is how husbands should treat their wives, loving them as parts of themselves. For since a man and his wife are now one, a man is really doing himself a favor and loving himself when he loves his wife! ^29-30 No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it, just as Christ cares for his body the Church, of which we are parts. (Living Bible)
** http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2011/04/where-is-my-husband.html

How strong are you?

A weeks days ago, I was chatting with a dear friend (and fellow Mrs Pastor) - and ended up sharing what my definition of a strong woman is.

Before sharing my definition with more of us, I was curious about other people's definitions. This quote is a great starting point because I both agree and disagree with it...please "read" me out...

Check point...

Wondering what this is about? I didn't say I would but I felt led to check on us.

It's been 3 months* since I wrote about me-time. So how many moments of "me-time" have you had since then? I know that I cannot prescribe how often you should have me-time but I know that once a year doesn't cut it. You'll not only be burnt out - God forbid that you be buried without it being more frequent.

The Gift

I'm sure that Christmas is the time when the most gifts are given to the most people in every place around the world. As Christmas 2012 comes (tomorrow), I'm asking myself: "What should I give myself?"

It is a valid question because as Mrs. Pastor I find that I'm almost always giving. Just a few examples so you "see" and possibly feel where I'm coming from.

What and where are your dreams - and where are you?

Before I became a Mrs. Pastor, I had a number of dreams - really big ones too.

“God gives us dreams a size too big so that we can grow in them.” 

~Author Unknown

“Keep your dreams alive.

Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision,

hard work, determination, and dedication.

Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”

~ Gail Devers

 Don't let your dreams remain dreams...do something to make them come true...

SPA

Have you ever had a spa? Well, it was an answered prayer for me last year when I got a coupon...in fact it was another confirmation of God's promise in Isa. 65:24: 

"I will answer them before they even call to me. While they are still talking about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers!"*

You know, I hadn't even whispered it to anyone - indeed the Word works...

Ok back to our topic...

After that experience, I said I'd like my husband to go for a spa and to go again myself, of course. The more I thought about it, the more desirable it became. Then just before Christmas, the thought occurred to me again and I got it...

The Preacher's Wife

Have you seen this film - "The Preacher's Wife"? Although it's not a Christian movie, it's what I'd call a "crunchy comedy" - that's my way of saying it gives you some thing to chew on. Others may say it gives you food for thought...and I'll add "energy for action" too.

It brings to light some of the shortcomings and oversights of being "sold out" to ministry. Watching it again after several years, I noticed a number of things and the key one was: Beware when you are "sold out" to the ministry because you may be a terrible debtor to your family who are supposed to be your first ministry. The Bible is clear on the requirements for a married man in ministry:

1 Timothy 3: 1,2, 4 & 5 -  ¹This is a statement that can be trusted: If anyone sets his heart on being a bishop, he desires something excellent. ²A bishop must have a good reputation. He must have only one wife, be sober, use good judgment, be respectable, be hospitable, and be able to teach. ⁴He must manage his own family well. His children should respectfully obey him. ⁵(If a man doesn’t know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) (God's Word Translation)

Titus 1: 6 - [These elders should be] men who are of unquestionable integrity and are irreproachable, the husband of [but] one wife, whose children are [well trained and are] believers, not open to the accusation of being loose in morals and conduct or unruly and disorderly. (Amplified)

My husband, children and I watched it together years ago and we took note of our "dos" and "do nots" - the main one was: "Family first-after God."  Without a doubt, some things in the film were exaggerated and others were understated -which is why it's a film. I suggest that you start by watching this film with your husband (& immediate family if possible) as a form of relaxation - there will be no need to lecture - if you do this prayerfully and you'll be blessed.  If you see (or even smell) traces of some of the things we saw in the film creeping up on your marriage, I suggest that you pray and then discuss them with your husband. 

I definitely cannot overemphasize what I call the "Hierarchy In Ministry" (HIM):

God, Spouse, Children, Ministry, Job/Career - which is part of your ministry.

I'd love to hear/read your testimonies...you can send an email to dearmrs.pastor@gmail.com if you'd rather share it in private  than comment on this posting. One way or the other, it will be nice to hear/read from you.