Are you living in a Fishbowl?

When I saw this picture and phrase, I smiled. Then I began to wonder if I also felt that way...my response was a resounding “No”. I then realized that I need to be alert and active in ensuring that I am never put in a Fishbowl or deemed to be in one...how constricting! This phrase gives me some concern – no actually a lot more than "some" – it actually gives me a lot of concern. Was is coined by a Mrs. Pastor because that's how she felt or wanted to live or was it coined by others as indicative of their perception of how (or where) Pastor's wives live? Interesting phrase - I wonder what the thinking behind it was.

I know that being a Pastor’s wife has an ever-changing job description. I won’t even call it a job description, it’s actually a lifestyle change. However, I strongly believe that being a Pastor’s wife does not change the fact that we are individuals - yep we are...as a result, I also believe that we have a right to our own lives and personal space of course.

One area where this challenge shows up in the people Pastor’s wives relate with. I do not disagree that Pastors’ wives must be amiable and accessible – yes they MUST or shall I say, "we must" however that does not mean that we do not have the right to our own relationships. Who ever said that Pastors’ wives cannot have their own friends?

I recently heard about a Pastor’s wife who cut off a friendship with a member of the church because she was “accused” of being friendly to a particular lady. Is that ridiculous or what? Pastors' wives need friends! They also have the right to choose who those friends will be.

Such actions just create unnecessarily boundaries. In fact, some Pastors’ wives simply plop themselves into the Fishbowl and start coming up with ways to live, survive and thrive in there. We are not goldfish, or any other type of fish for that matter...so there is no reason why we should move into or live in a Fishbowl or try to survive and thrive there - absolutely none!

Another area where the life of Mrs. Pastor is stretched is in our availability. It seems to be a general expectation that you'd be available to everyone at every time they need you. While it is good to be available & accessible, being available to everyone else such that your family is out of the picture is the wrong way to fulfill the ministry. 1 Tim 3: 5 requires a Pastor (& his wife) to be in touch with and take care of their family otherwise how can they take care of others? You cannot do a better job on others than you do on your family - if that happens then you have failed.

FYI: only God can be and is available 24/7.

Much as your lifestyle needs to (and will) change, your boundaries are not any different as they are for other Christians. We are all expected to live within God’s boundaries – in His presence. In His presence, there is fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore – not pressures. So break out of that Fishbowl. Live life to the fullest... glorifying God as you fulfill His purpose for your life.

Mrs. Pastor, you can, should and must

live, survive and thrive outside the Fishbowl...

that's where everyone else (who you should be a blessing to) lives.