Which is better?

Not sure if you have, but from time to time I hear people say: "it is better to apologize later than to ask for permission first." I wonder who came up with that.

What do you think? Permission or Apology - which is better?

I "agreed" with it mentally until something happened to me last year. At that point I decided what was better and decided to share my TEA with you...

A few days before I was to go shopping, my husband and I had agreed on a budget. While pre-shopping, I had other ideas (you know how it is when you see "deals") and soon noticed I was going to go overboard i.e. over-budget.

You may have guessed right - my first instinct was to proceed when it was time for me to shop and apologize later - by which time nothing could be done about it.

I didn't buy anything that day but for days I kept rehearsing in my head how it will all play out. Then finally, it hit me...when I asked myself: "what would I gain from disobeying my husband?" Really, what is there to gain? It would just set a foundation for disrespect (of authority) not to mention distrust and then distress. With that precedent, I would have no reason or even basis to complain if he doesn't do things the way we agreed. As God will have it, I happened to speak to my husband some hours before I was about to go overboard and bust the budget. I then asked him for an addition to our budget...and he agreed. Wow - nice! 

You can only imagine how free and empowered I felt when I continued on the agreed project. At that point, I decided that it is:

better to ask permission first than to apologize later

...you may never have the opportunity to apologize. God forbid! 

As I typed up this piece, Queen Vashti's dethronement dropped in my spirit. Like me, you may not see the link clearly but there is definitely a lesson or two we can learn from her - we may talk about her one of these days...