Mrs. Pastor: Twelve Tips for Pastors’ Wives*

Monday, March 31, 2014

Twelve Tips for Pastors’ Wives*

After celebrating our 2^nd “Mrs Pastor Day” last week, I felt we should have a few tips…and I’m so happy to have found these* from someone whose been one for over 20 years. She had 12 so I’ll start with excerpts of 3 today and post excerpts of the others in subsequent posts. Note that they are not in any order of priority – I just rearranged them. As usual, my comments are in purple font.

Guard your Relationship with God

This is obvious – but Pastors and their wives struggle with maintaining their spiritual lives just as much as anyone else. There are always other demands on our time – and perhaps because those demands seem ‘spiritual’, we can fool ourselves into thinking we don’t need time with God so much. After all, if we are preparing a Bible study or a Women’s talk, we are in the Word, aren’t we? We are, but it’s not quite the same as that one-to-one intimate time with God where we are just spending time with Him for our own good. So guard that time – selfishly, doggedly – and keep it fresh. Use a devotional, keep a journal, read books on prayer and the devotional life, do whatever you need to keep it fresh. For we cannot lead others where we have not been. Mrs P: Remember the Hierarchy in Ministry? It's all about HIM.** The minute you take your eyes off Him, you'll sink - like Peter did. Don't let anyone - husband, children or church - distract you from God. No one!

Keep Romance Alive

It’s easy for your relationship to be submerged under the demands of the ministry and it all seems so ‘spiritual’ to put God and His kingdom first. But I don’t believe God ever meant us to put the church before our marriages. God should have first place in our lives and then our spouses and families – after that, the church. It is tragic if our marriages are shipwrecked because we have neglected them for the church. No one else is responsible for our marriages but ourselves. So make a date- night – weekly if you can – and guard it with your life. Allow no one and nothing to interrupt it, unless there is an extreme emergency…. Mrs P: This is so true. I intend to be deliberate about (re)introducing date days - not just nights - with my husband.***

Keep Your Sense of Humour

Church work is hard. A Pastor’s calling is serious. He is on call 24/7. It is relentless. He feels responsible for the flock in his care. There are heavy counselling problems, difficult theological questions, and complicated political issues within the church. It all takes its toll. Some days there doesn’t seem to be much to laugh about. But – maybe on those days more than ever – you need to remember to have fun. Keep your sense of humour. You don’t need to laugh at the problems – but you do need to maintain perspective and help your husband to maintain his. Don’t take yourself too seriously – and help your husband not to take himself too seriously. In the end of the day, the church is God’s problem – not yours. Mrs P: I agree with Mort Walker that: "Seven days without laughter makes one weak." Same fact applies to prayer. Laugh many times - about many things...

I'll post the other tips in the coming weeks.

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