Where do you live?

When John’s disciples switched to Jesus, their first question was:

“Where do you live?”*

Let's flip that: As Mrs. Pastor, we need to support our husbands so they know where every member of the church lives. I realise that is one far-reaching statement to make, so I encourage you to read on...For a church to be intact – the members need to be in-touch with each other and that includes Pastor and his family – they are also members of the church. I’ve been in churches where I‘ve heard members say “there is no love in this church” or leave because they did not “feel loved.” When I hear statements like that, I ask myself – did they show love and it wasn’t reciprocated? Love begets love.

The Pastor's Wife

The Pastor's Wife

She serves in a position she had not sought for in her life
She simply fell in love with a man called into ministry,
You may know her; she’s the pastor’s wife.

She accepted her role to live for Jesus and share the Gospel light.
She just wanted to make God and her husband proud,
Just happy to be the pastor’s wife.

She started on her journey, her expectations soaring high.
She gave her heart and soul to the task,
For she’s the pastor’s wife.

She was expected to be a certain kind of woman adjusting to church life.
She was not there to receive, but to serve;
After all, she’s the pastor’s wife.

She was to be seen as a Godly lady free from bitterness and strife.
She was to always have a gentle and sweet countenance,
Because she’s the pastor’s wife.

She was to be a gracious hostess anytime someone dropped by,
No matter the day of the week or how late into the night -
For she's the pastor’s wife.

She was to be the perfect mom and her children were to always play nice.
She was never to raise her voice but discipline them perfectly,
Because she’s the pastor’s wife.

She was not to have any personal struggles or down times in life.
She was to always be on top of the world,
For she is the pastor’s wife.

But, she has been down and lonely, more times than we realize.
For she is a woman first of all,
And then she’s the pastor’s wife

She has struggled on a pastor’s salary just trying to survive,
While she watched others enjoy trips and luxury holidays-
Not common for a pastor’s wife

She has been humbled, and very grateful, many times throughout her life
For the grace God gave and the prayers that have been prayed
To encourage this pastor’s wife.

She longed for just one true friend, her battles to help her fight-
Only to later be burned by people who turned their backs on
the pastor’s wife.

She yearned for her own identity, and Christian friends to share her plight.
She wanted to be known for who she is,
Not just as the pastor’s wife.

She longed for simple conversations from the many in her life.
But they often only spoke to her to give a message to him -
For she was known as the pastor’s wife.

She may be hurting and discouraged or in need of hug that’s tight.
She gets tired and down just like everyone else,
So encourage the pastor’s wife.

She’s always there for all of you, so get to know her and treat her right.
Show her interest that’s true for she’s a person too-
This one called the pastor’s wife.

She has too often been neglected by the ones God put in her life.
So, let us find an occasion and show her appreciation
And honor the pastor’s wife.

Loyd C. Taylor

When I was preparing for our first "Mrs. Pastor Day"* (4th Monday in March) I was looking for material that articulated and perchance appreciated what it really means to be a Mrs. Pastor. When I found this poem on another lady's blog** I couldn't resist sharing it around the time we celebrate women again - Mothers' Day this coming weekend... You may relate to some or all of it.

Wishing you all a very Happy Mothers' Day!

References:

* http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.com/2012/03/happy-mrs-pastor-day.html

**http://jsttheotherday.blogspot.com/2012/01/pastors-wife.html

Agree to disagree?

Have you ever heard someone say:

 "Let's agree to disagree"?

Do you think that should ever happen between Pastor & his Mrs.? I know it  and does happen between them, but should it?

Vashti - Virtuous or Vicious? (2)

We started this topic 2 weeks ago* - have you decided whether Vashti was virtuous or vicious? Well, I'll continue sharing my thoughts or shall I say, the lessons we can learn from her: 

Make a Dent!

Like me, you may wonder where I'd have come up with this such a topic from.

Ecclesiastes 7:2 says:

You learn more at a funeral than at a feast— After all, that's where we'll end up. We might discover something from it. (The Message)

That verse should give you a hint of where the topic came from. Yes, last month I attended a funeral - one of the most difficult I've attended so far. It was sad for many reasons especially as she was a Mrs. Pastor. A Mrs. Pastor with a difference.

Vashti - Virtuous or Vicious? (1)

Over two months ago, I mentioned that we can learn a few lessons fron Vashti*.The story about Vashti is a short and sharp one – I’m sure that most people who read her story have an opinion about her…one way or the other. This isn’t one of those Bible stories that you’d easily gloss over. It’s also not one of those stories you hear people preach about much – not even during pre-marital counselling or during marriage seminars – possibly because many Christians don’t “see” or feel that there is anything to be learned from her.

When people talk about her, they make her sound vicious i.e. ill-willed - not wishing her husband good. Well, I think very differently so let’s read Esther 1 together…yes, please open your own Bible and read it as I continue to type and highlight a few verses - and the lessons:

• She was the wife of a very influential and rich man – a king (v.1 & 9). I believe she understood that this unique position had some "pressure" with it - which for me could explain why she knew what her boundaries were.
• She was hospitable – maybe because she could afford it. Verse 9 says: At the same time, Queen Vashti gave a banquet for the women in the royal palace of King Xerxes (NLT). "Knowing" her, I believe that she went through with it because she wanted to - not that she was forced to.
• She lived up to her name and was beautiful. Did you know that her name means: "Beautiful" or "Good-looking"? Well, her husband was very proud of her. Verse 11 tells us: "He wanted the nobles and all the other men to gaze on her beauty, for she was a very beautiful woman." (NLT) There is no doubt that what her husband wanted her to do was totally inappropriate and disrespectful to her person, not to mention very demeaning, however the point is she had "something" - an attribute - he wanted to show off. Two sets of questions come to mind here. The first one for individuals is: "What is your name?" "What has God called you?" "Are you living up to that name?" The second is for all marriages: "Are there things about your husband or wife you like to "show-off" in a positive way or do you cringe when they show up either because of their Appearance, Behaviour or even BO, Character or what comes out (or could come out) of their mouths?" Have you talked about it? You should.

 To be continued

Reference:

*http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.com/2012/02/which-is-better.html

"Honey, they're here..."

Response: "Who is here?"

While I cannot say I have tons of experience in this area, I can only imagine how some of us feel when this happens. Yes - when people turn up unexpectedly in your home but your husband had been expecting them all the while and possibly forgot to inform you that he had "invited" people over or simply overlooked to assuming you'd be "fine" with it...Ok I know this happened more than once in the Bible. In Genesis 18, Abraham saw three men in the distance and invited them home and Sarah was clueless about it; I like how God's Word Translation puts it:

Abraham hurried into the tent and said to Sarah, Quick, take a sack of your best flour, and bake some bread. Then he ran to the herd and picked out a calf that was tender and fat, and gave it to a servant, who hurried to get it ready. He took some cream, some milk, and the meat, and set the food before the men. There under the tree he served them himself, and they ate. (verses 6-8)

It is note worthy that he lost no time in informing Sarah first - by himself - that he needed her to make some bread. Then he chose the best calf and mobilized one of his servants to prepared it. When everything was done, he went one step further to serve their guests himself. What a gift to a woman - a man who helps her!

Now, I know there are some superb husbands - like mine - who help out now and again and some husbands are "struggling" wondering why they need to help. Without belabouring the point, suffice it to say: "Helping others is one way of demonstrating love" and of course charity (love) should begin at home.

As Mrs. Pastor, we are expected to rise to the occassion and be hospitable - to expected and unexpected guests. I wonder how long it took Sarah to make the bread knowing that they didn't have the appliances and quick-fix mixes we have these days. Or even the time to butcher then "dress" the calf. Now, that would have been a long visit. I can't begin to imagine how she may have felt. Can you?

From personal experience, I know it is not always easy to be hospitable (& happy about such surprises), but it is possible if we have the right attitude. The right attitude includes using kind words when asking our husbands to minimize such surprises or even to be there with us in the kitchen...and that's a good start.

P.S.
Easter is this coming weekend - I wonder if this will happen to any of us...hmm.

Happy Mrs. Pastor Day...

Last Sunday, March 18th, was Mothering Sunday in some parts of the world. When I realized that, I sent "Happy Mothers' Day" messages to some ladies in those parts of the world and it got me thinking...

On the 8th of this month, it was International Women's Day. Wow - 2 days in one month dedicated to women. After thinking about it, I decided that today 26th of March (i.e. a sum of 8+18 - this year) should be "Mrs. Pastor Day."

First of all, each and every Mrs. Pastor is a woman and on top of that she is looked upon as a mother. I know I have shared about whether or not you are the mother** the fact of life is that is an underlying expectation that we need to meet.

To celebrate our "Mrs. Pastor Day" I'm sharing a lovely poem that is so apt. Personally, I know a lot of times, we may not be noticed or even appreciated for all that we do...don't relent because some people (like the author of this poem) do and most importantly God notices and appreciates us...and that's all that matters.


When we thank God for our pastor
We must give Him thanks for two,
For when your husband came to us
God also sent us you.  A pastor's wife must be many things,
You have many hats to wear;
And we say thanks for all you do
And lift you up in prayer. You adjust your life to meet the needs
Of your husband's congregation,
And it seems that you can always cope
With most any situation.  Your presence blesses all of us
Who know you from day to day
As our pastor's wife, you are serving God
In a fine and worthy way.*

Happy Mrs. Pastor Day!!

P.S. Don't forget to notice and appreciate other Mrs. Pastors you know - today and always... Let's be there for one another. Feel free to forward this to them too.

Source:

*http://www.my-pastor.com/pastors-wife-poems.html

How would you respond...

..if you receive a PDA?

Well, I know that for any gift I'd be overjoyed...and possibly glow for some time. A PDA?! Now that's a wonderful gift - that speaks volumes to me and others - especially if it's from my husband. As I type, a smile comes on my face as I remember my reaction, ok reponse, the first time my husband gave me a PDA.

First of all, I wondered why and then came to appreciate it with time. I can only imagine what is going through your mind - not to mention the burning question:

"What's the big deal about a PDA in this hyper-digital age?"

The Pastor's Wife

Knowing that so much has been written (and is still being written) about pastors, I was looking around for quotes or pieces about Mrs. Pastor. I was pleased when I found this one and I'm sure we can all relate to this piece even 10 years after it was composed. I pray we are encouraged and blessed as we read this and most importantly, remain worthy of the title...

THE PASTOR'S WIFE*
She's a Godly woman, she has such grace
Always a warm greeting, a smile on her face.
She's always encouraging, she knows her place.
She is - The Pastor's Wife.

She has to always look just right
Always on time, though the schedule's tight.
From early morning, 'til late at night
Always - The Pastor's Wife

She's such a Lady, everyone's friend
She serves with love from deep within.
All the rifts she tries to mend
Oh she's - The Pastor's Wife

She carries your burdens, she prays for you
Sometimes she cries the whole night through.
But you won't know when she's feeling blue,
'Cause she's - The Pastor's Wife

At church as she starts to walk up the aisle,
So many need to stop and talk for awhile.
Though she is tired, she has her own trials
She's patient, she's - The Pastor's Wife

Her life, her time, is not her own
There's always a need, they go on and on
With a knock at the door, or a ringing phone.
That's the life of - The Pastor's Wife

Her husband she shares with a whole congregation
She humbly accepts his intense dedication.
In loneliness she kneels to see consolation
God Bless - The Pastor's Wife

She will someday reach the end of this race
As she meets her Master face to face
Surely our God has a Special Place
In Heaven for - The Pastor's Wife!

Composed and Written by: Judy Dycus, March 10, 1992

*http://www.hopecrc.ca/Appreciation.htm