Marriage matters

As Mrs. Pastor, one thing I am constantly reminded of is that my marriage matters and whether or not you want to accept it, it is expected (and has to be) an example to others. I found a few quotes that got me thinking differently...

Zig Ziglar said "I have no way of knowing whether or not you married the wrong person, but I do know that many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what it takes to make that marriage happy and successful. I'll be the first to admit that it's possible that you did marry the wrong person. However, if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all. On the other hand, if you marry the right person, and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person. I also know that it is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short, whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you."

In marriage, each partner is to be an encourager rather than a critic, a forgiver rather than a collector of hurts, an enabler rather than a reformer. ~ H. Norman Wright and Gary J. Oliver

The more you invest  in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. ~ Amy Grant

Motto for the bride and groom: We are a work in progress with a lifetime contract.

~ Phyllis Koss

Whatever comes your way, remember to connect, communicate and celebrate with each other constantly. Can you imagine what our churches would be like if our "husband" Christ never connected, communicated or celebrated us and vice versa? Let's learn from the Lord and have exemplary marriages. May God continue to bless your marriage - and mine too. AMEN!

To host or not to host?

Before you wonder how I could ask such a question let's be clear that the Bible tells us we should be hospitable* - it's even a requirement for church leaders.**

I remember a friend who teased me about getting ready to cook and host sometime after my husband started pastoring. I smiled & wondered with a "Hmmm?" - in my mind of course. I've noticed that a number of "hosts" and "hostesses" - Mrs. Pastors included - miss the point of hospitality and hosting which is why this question "To host or not host?" popped in my heart.

Which type of MUG are you?

You may not be like me or some women I know who have different shapes and sizes of mugs with varying sentimental values. Personally, there are some mugs that I use just because they have not been used in a while. There are some which I only, or mostly, use when I need to host many people. BTW, each family member has a favourite mug - or 2.
 

The bottom line is: "

Every mug I have is useful but not every mug gets used."

You can make a cuppa in one of your mugs as you continue reading...

Be(come) a Handy-woman

Do you know how to use a hammer? A lot of us believe that it's not a woman's place to know how to use some of those tools and/or to fix things (around the house). I used to think a bit like that although I know how to use basic tools. I started rethinking that stand after reading 2 scriptures - one has to be taken figuratively and the other literally.

Fathering Pastor or Pastoring Father

I've been praying and wondering what to say to our husbands this Father's Day. Last week, my husband and I were talking about how interesting that in the past there used to be an unwritten rule about only allowing those who were married, and in some cases family men, to become pastors. It sure has some scriptural basis (see 1 Tim 1:1-7 and Tit 1: 6-8) however, we agreed that it is not enough to "qualify" a man to become a pastor. In fact we went further to say that not every man who has fathered children has "credibility" to talk about being a father.

The Willing Wife...

...is the Winning Wife.

That sounds like a mouthful and I'm wondering what I'm getting myself into.

This topic occurred to me when I was writing my piece titled: "The Gift."*
I then decided to wait till I was in the right frame of mind not to mention right "heart-space" before writing this. Being willing is not something that happens willingly - pun intended - at least that's how it is for me sometimes.

Vunerable...

is valuable.

"It's good to be strong and able to bless others, yes. But we learned the value of being vunerable enough to let others be strong for us, to let others bless us. That, it turned out, was a blessing to them as well."

When I read these words on page 153 of "Heaven is for Real" - a book my colleague lent to me unsolicited, there was no way I'd leave the words on that page. By the way, if you haven't read that book, it's one I recommend for "Family Reading." I had barely read 3 chapters of the book before I bought one for my family - our children are going to read it first.

Let me stop there before I go off the point...

"Private Residence"

Last year it was very interesting to hear and see how public & busy living in the White House can be & is over Christmas. Better yet was hearing how each first family makes & takes time to be with their family privately after the public show.

I didn't realize that they had private residences. I know I should have but I didn't and that goes to show how we erroneously think that because you are "called to serve" others you do not have a "right" to any privacy or private moments.

I continue to say that we all need to make and take time for ourselves and our family.* When you read all the scriptures that talk about the expected qualities of a bishop/ pastor one clear & common thread is "family." I believe that God expects all those in ministry to live a "family first" life. Let's look at 2 verses which clearly state that:
1 Timothy 3: 2 says: "A congregation leader must be above reproach, he must be faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, orderly, hospitable and able to teach."**

Titus 1: 6 is very clear: "A leader must be blameless, husband to one wife, with believing children who do not have a reputation for being wild or rebellious."**

It's one thing to have a close and connected family before coming into ministry and another to maintain and even strengthen the bond when in ministry. Like I've said before, this is one area where we need to actively take charge using the "Private Residence" concept. Yes, we are called to be hospitable - and we must be - it's a blessing to be a blessing. While our home is to be "open" to others it must remain our home, not a perpetual "open house" and definitely not a hotel - NEVER! No member of the family should ever feel like a "guest" in their own home because of the uncontrollable traffic of people we minister to.

Family life definitely one place where we may need to be more assertive. The way I see it, if you truly support your husband in ministry you must ensure that your family is intact and each member is an active participant. It's not a "I'll do something with the children, while my husband continues in ministry" - it's "We'll do things as a family as an example to the other families in our ministry." When I saw this picture, I couldn't resist sharing it.
Taking it one step further, when life falls apart, ministry cannot remain intact...

My prayer is that none of our lives fall apart. To avoid that, ensure you have a "private residence" - deliberately make and take time for family times despite the busyness of ministry...you'll notice a difference in your quality of ministry.


References:
*http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2011/11/busy-bee.html
**Complete Jewish Bible

How much...

do you love your husband?

I like the balanced definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13. Let's focus on a few verses here:

Love is kind and patient,
never jealous, boastful,
    proud, or ⁵ rude.
Love isn’t selfish
    or quick tempered.
It doesn’t keep a record
    of wrongs that others do.
⁶ Love rejoices in the truth,
    but not in evil.
⁷ Love is always supportive,
loyal, hopeful,
    and trusting.
⁸ Love never fails!*

Recently pondering on verses 6 & 7, I had to ask myself this question: "How much do I love my husband?" I know without a shadow of doubt that I love my husband...it just helps to reassess that love and I'll explain how and why.

Hold on to that hand...

I stumbled on this short and very sentimental piece on Mothers.

I'll let you read it first...then share my thoughts.

The mother that came to mind after I read this a second time was the prodigal son's mother. I'm sure she never let go of his hand - since he was in her heart.

I like Elizabeth Stone's take on this:
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

The truth is that no mother ever lets go of her children's hands -

 which is sometimes why some mothers are deemed bad mother-in-laws.

The point here is: "Mothers are keepers."

Join me to celebrate to all Grandmothers, Mothers (& Mothers-in-laws too). 

Also join me as I celebrate you because I know there are times when as Mrs Pastor, you have to hold on to some people trusting God to make an impact in their lives. May God bless and reward you for all you do to hold on to those hands. Happy Mother's Day!

Hold on to those hands...God bless

P.S. I know Mother's day is on May 12th - wanted to get my best wishes in early. Have a wonderful week ahead and a lovely Sunday celebrating yourself.