All I did...

...was marry my best friend.

I know that it may be different for some of us but I'm sure that for a lot of us - including a dear friend of mine - we just married our best friends and with time or even before we knew what was happening (to us) we became "Mrs. Pastor."

Sometimes I look back & wonder what I did wrong...by marrying my best friend. I don't know about you, but I'd guess it's similar: I find that it's not easy to "show" and/or "tell" how you really feel about a lot of things (or even people) because it can be easily misconstrued as "She's too sensitive" or "She's not spiritual" & so on.

Last year, some things happened to me in an interesting sequence and when reviewed backwards, I appreciated the saying that:
Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

~ Søren Kierkegaard

 

I'll recount it in the order it happened to me: I was finally finishing "Cure for the Common Life" by Max Lucado and the "Tank your reputation" chapter struck a chord with me (I even wrote about it*). Then I felt led to catch up on the unread books in my personal library and started with Lorna Dobson's "I'm more than the Pastor's wife." I have shared tidbits from that book too.** One of the many things that struck me was how she started the book. She said that before talking - ok, writing - about "who" or "what" a Pastor's wife is or does, she would focus on what God expects from every child of His - which every Mrs. Pastor must be first and foremost. I had barely read half of the book before I "felt" a direct slight on me...   

That night was one of my most difficult since I became Mrs. Pastor over 10 years ago. I tossed and turned and kept asking God for grace to go on. When I woke up then next morning, the thought in my mind was: "All I did was marry my best friend...I didn't ask to be anyone's target." So I prayed for more grace to focus on God, not on man (or woman). It was interesting because when I discussed how I really felt with my husband, he had a slightly different take on it - no it was more than slightly different. It then hit me - he cannot "feel" like a woman does.

Without asking for it - of course He knows how we feel - the Lord gave me a word in Hebrews 12:3.^ There is work to be done and we must so the work of Him Who sent us while it is day.^^ Let's not be distracted or discouraged - when you think about it, "Action attracts attention...and assistance in some cases."

Just focus on God and what He has called/sent you to do. If Jesus paid attention to what sinners and even His own disciples said and did, He would not have accomplished His purpose on earth nor received any reward. We must follow in His footsteps - our reward awaits us at the end of the race. If you must do only one thing, focus on Jesus because the race^^^ continues...

References:

*http://sapphire-and-beryl.blogspot.ca/2012/07/deja-vu-with-difference.html

** http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2012/11/being-mrs-pastor.html

^ Hebrews 12:3 - Just think of Him Who endured from sinners such grievous opposition and bitter hostility against Himself [reckon up and consider it all in comparison with your trials], so that you may not grow weary or exhausted, losing heart and relaxing and fainting in your minds. (Amplified)
Hebrews 12:3 - When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!  (The Message)

^^ John 9:4  - We must work the works of Him Who sent Me and be busy with His business while it is daylight; night is coming on, when no man can work. (Amplified)

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^^^ Hebrews 12:1-2 - Therefore then, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses [who have borne testimony to the Truth], let us strip off and throw aside every encumbrance (unnecessary weight) and that sin which so readily (deftly and cleverly) clings to and entangles us, and let us run with patient endurance and steady and active persistence the appointed course of the race that is set before us, Looking away [from all that will distract] to Jesus, Who is the Leader and the Source of our faith [giving the first incentive for our belief] and is also its Finisher [bringing it to maturity and perfection]. He, for the joy [of obtaining the prize] that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising and ignoring the shame, and is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God. (Amplified)
Philippians 3: 12-14 - It’s not that I’ve already reached the goal or have already completed the course. But I run to win that which Jesus Christ has already won for me. Brothers and sisters, I can’t consider myself a winner yet. This is what I do: I don’t look back, I lengthen my stride, and I run straight toward the goal to win the prize that God’s heavenly call offers in Christ Jesus. (God's Word Translation)