Best Pastor’s Wife Advice Ever!*

The best thing about advice is you can take it or leave it... I really like this Rubber and Sponge" advice - published exactly 1 year ago. As I read it, I got more insight into being "Rubber" - you'll see my comments in purple font.

I still quote the pastor’s wife advice I was given 22 years ago.  It was simple and sage.

 

Sitting in a hair salon, I watched the seasoned pastor’s wife next to me get her Aqua-Net hair teased and set in rollers. She was in her polyester skirt, and I was in my shorts. I was convinced we were nothing alike, but I still needed some insight into this pastor’s wife gig. Somehow my naive self was convinced I could do this pastor’s wife thing better than the generation before me. (Funny how all generations think that.) All I needed was a little intel.

 

So I popped the PW question. The same question I now get asked by young women marrying that ministry man. “What advice would you give someone going into the ministry?”

 

The quickness of her answer surprised me. I had expected her to give some methodical thought to my question, or at least the spiritual courtesy of praying about it and getting back with me.

 

Speaking in her southern accent over the hum of the bowl shaped dryer on top of her head, she said,

“Sometimes you need to be like rubber and sometimes you need to be a sponge.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the pause, I stared at her blankly trying to decipher the meaning of this code.

 

Then she added, “Sometimes you need be rubber and let things bounce off of you and sometimes you need to be a sponge and know what to soak up.”

 

That was it.

 

That was it?

 

I was not real happy with my new advice. My only advice. It was a small town and she was the only pastor’s wife I knew to ask.

 

NOW, I find myself quoting her!

 

The Sundays when it feels like everyone’s opinions add up to overly critical expressions that define my very existence and identity…RUBBER! I’ve learned to let it bounce off.

 

The Sundays when I’m depleted and God puts someone in my path to help me…SPONGE. Although, I’ll admit my first internal response is to be in tough “ministry mode” and think I don’t need help or encouragement, or feel guilty if I do receive it. On these days I’ve learned to be a SPONGE and soak in the love and help of others that God has put around me.

 

The Sundays that seem tense when my husband has received some pushback from a staff member or advice from that well meaning deacon…SPONGE and RUBBER! Sometimes even the hard to hear things have some hidden truth. So, I ask myself, is there any truth here that I need to soak up? (or my husband needs to soak up and I don’t need to be defensive) I find the truth, absorb it, and let the rest of it bounce off.

 

Mrs P:

Taking the "rubber" piece a step further, the Holy Spirit said, sometimes you need to be a "Rubber eraser" - not just let things bounce off like water off a duck's back** but actually erase them from your memory so you don't have any ill feelings towards any who thought they were well-meaning or intended to be plain mean. 

Thinking about my kitchen sink, I actually like my rubber sponge; it doesn't hold too much - just enough to be effective and successful when used on a dirty pan. Now, that's another sponge perspective - "take in only what you need" and as they say let the rest flow through to the drain not to your brain. If you find it goes up (to your brain and heart instead of down (to the drain), pull out your rubber eraser...erase it and move on. Convert any "stones" hurled at you to stepping stones.   

References:

*http://arminwives.wordpress.com/2013/06/17/best-pastors-wife-advice-ever/

**http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2013/11/water-off-ducks-back.html