Point of correction: You're not "just the Pastor's wife"

You're the Just Pastor's wife.

It is finished...

When Jesus made that statement in John 19:30, He was serious about it.

Jesus already died for the church - you don't need to... Yes, no need to.

It grieves me when I see Pastors who seem to want to "give it all" for the church at the expense of their families. I won't give this topic rest because it's affecting a number of Mrs. Pastors in more ways than some of them are willing or even able to share freely or fully.

I do thank God that my husband has proper balance and perspective on these things but that won't make me complacent and not compassionate towards those who have the challenge.

In her book "I'm more than the Pastor's wife: Authentic living in a Fishbowl world" (which is one of my favourite books), Lorna Dobson said "If a man burns out and loses his family, someone else will step into the pulpit and the work will go on."* I recommend this book for Pastors too.

As I was saying, Jesus said "It is finished" not "I am finished" when He paid the ultimate price for His body. I pray that no pastor will ever have to say "It is finished and I am finished" concerning their marriage, family and/or ministry - in that order.

As we head into the Easter weekend, which is a very busy one for the pastorate and members, Pastors and Mrs. Pastors, please ensure that you have time for your family. Happy Easter!

Reference:
* Page 127; I'm more than the Pastor's wife: Authentic living in a Fishbowl world

For all...not for some

A week after I posted the piece "It's got nothing to do with it*," I was thinking about other commandments and this one came to mind.

Matthew 5:14-16
“You are the light that shines for the world to see. You are like a city built on a hill that cannot be hidden. People don’t hide a lamp under a bowl. They put it on a lampstand. Then the light shines for everyone in the house. In the same way, you should be a light for other people. Live so that they will see the good things you do and praise your Father in heaven.” (ERV)

3 things struck me about this passage:

The first thing is that this is one commandment for each & every one of us - every Christian.
No exceptions. I agree that light comes in different wattage but they all have the same purpose - which to dispel and displace darkness - when we function as we should.

The 2nd thing is this is an expectation for each day, not just on Sundays. As Mrs. Pastor, I'm sad when I see people who are different depending on where or when you meet or see them. Do you know any such? We need to help people realize that there is no value in "putting up an act" for your Pastor or his Mrs - rather be concerned about what God sees all the time.

Thirdly, we are expected to shine before all men (people), not just before church members.

So as we shine constantly, let's encourage other Christians around us to do likewise daily.

Reference:

* http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2015/02/it-has-nothing.html

 

Numbers or Members?

My husband and I were in an interesting chat with our Pastor friends recently. Together we tried to distinguish between "Numbers" and "Members" in church. At the end of our conversation, I decided to pour out and post what was in my heart about it. With due respect, anyone who can be "counted" as someone who is attends a particular church is a "Number" - and that's where we all start. On the other side, "Members" are those you can count on because they go above and beyond being counted.

Yes, a play with words but the difference between someone who can be counted and someone who can be counted on is not a playing matter but definitely a praying matter for all pastors (and their wives, who are also pastors in many cases).

1 Corinthians 12:12 tells us: For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. (ESV)

Ephesians 4:16 - The whole body depends on Christ, and [through/by whom] all the parts of the body are joined and held together. Each part [supporting joint/ligament] does its own work [performs its function] to make the whole body grow and be strong with [to build itself up in] love. (Expanded Bible)

Romans 12:4- 5 Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.
New Living Translation (NLT)

Without a shadow of doubt, we all depend on Christ and also need each other i.e. interdependent on each other. 1 Corinthians 12: 14-27 and Romans 12: 6-8 go on to explain our interdependencies not just the dependencies.

Numbers don't take these verses to heart - they rather stand alone/apart except when they want or need something from someone or the church. Members stand with/alongside others... and are there to help/support others as needed even before they are asked. Those who are "Numbers" just expect more and more from the church and never give any thought to what they can give. Remember my piece about the SHADE*?

As Pastor &/or Mrs Pastor, let's not get carried away with the Numbers...rather do what we should which includes prayers that they become Members.
May the our growth in members be faster than the increase in numbers in our churches. Amen.

Reference:
* http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.com/2012/12/shade-vs-roots.html

Helping (Heavy) Hands

I really love reading this passage of scripture - it always challenges me.

Exodus 17:10-14 - ¹⁰So Joshua did as Moses said and fought with Amalek; and Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the hilltop.¹¹ When Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed; and when he lowered his hand, Amalek prevailed. ¹² But Moses’ hands were heavy and grew weary. So [the other men] took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Then Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side and one on the other side; so his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. (Amplified)

Each time I read this, though it's easier to, I rarely think about others - I think about myself.
I challenge myself to be Aaron and Hur on the hilltop all the time. Note that I didn't say that I want to be Aaron always... because we know that Aaron led the people to sin later (see Ex 32) and even spoke against Moses (see Num 12:1-11). Nor do I want to be Hur because the only other time I see him mentioned in the Bible was as Bezaleel's grandfather (see Ex 31:2) - which makes me wonder if this was the first and last time he helped Moses.

This passage is particularly important for me because as Mrs. Pastor, I have insider information on when my husband's hands are getting heavy even if he doesn't want to admit it and of course know when mine are too. I'm already my husband's help-meet - so I do my part to help him but it's easy to wonder why others are not stepping up to help. Infact when all that happens, I move beyond wondering about others to reconsider all that I'm doing to help. I've come to realize that sometimes the best way to help heavy hands - my husband's or mine - is to scale back on all we're doing.

 

Sometimes we actually get weary because we're doing too much - yes more than God has asked us to or even gone ahead to do things without God telling us to. In the passage above, we know that God commanded Moses to go to the hilltop and hold up his hands. Moses was clear on what he needed to do. Aaron and Hur were also clear on what Moses needed to do so it was "easier" for them to support him and help him achieve it. They used their hands to help, not hurt Moses. May God help us and our husbands to be clear on what He wants us to do and use our hands "helpfully." God always sends help for heavy hands...doing His will.

It takes more than capability...

One major - or common - challenge for Mrs Pastors is how to "deal with" or manage people's expectations of us. On the flip side, some of us feel "obliged" to develop our capability and capacity in order to do "all" that is expected of us...and do it all very well.

In more recent months, God has continued to remind me, as I already know, that it takes a lot more than capability or even capacity, to do what we must. And the only thing we MUST do & do well is God's will.

One thing I've learned over the years, in my walk with God & work with (beside) my husband, is that I need clarity, more than capability or capacity, to accomplish God's will. Put differently, capability and capacity are of little use and could be misused if one is not sure on what exactly they should be doing. Samson comes to mind...

Habakkuk 2:2 says The Lord answered me: “Write down the vision; write it clearly [plainly] on clay tablets so whoever reads it can run to tell others.” (Expanded Bible)

So it's evident that the question here wasn't if the person had the capability or ability to run. Rather it was more around the clarity of what the runner was to do.

We each need to be clear on what God expects of us so we can run a successful race. Running based on man's expectations could take us away from fulfilling God's will for us. Ensure you have clarity before you build capacity or put your capability to work... God bless

"To be frank..."

Every time I hear that statement or "To be honest..." the question that pops in my head is: "Who/What were you before?"

The "Who" part is my play with words since "Frank" is a male name. J Let's think about it, if someone is always trying to convince you that they are being honest it can make you doubt them if they don't preface anything they want to say with that framing phrase. I'm personally concerned when I hear this in church or Christian gatherings and try to tell those I'm close to.

Matthew 5:37 says
"Say only yes if you mean yes, and no if you mean no [Let your word “yes” be “yes”; your “no” be “no”]. If you say more than yes or no, it [Anything more than this] is from the Evil One.

So even God expects us to be honest at all times without framing phrases.

As I wrote this piece, the Holy Spirit dropped a thought in my heart: imagine if people went around saying "To be a Christian, I do this or that." Or say to their bosses, colleagues or employees, "I'm doing this because I'm a Christian." What would they think whenever the "Christian" doesn't frame their words or actions with that phrase? I can imagine some of them thinking or saying to each other, "maybe this is not a day/time to be a Christian." You see how it's the same concept to me? So please before you say the next "To be frank" or "To be honest" remember this piece and let you last framing phrase be your last one. God bless

Love the Lord with all your heart...

I'm sure that as I do, you know that "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength"* - is the 1st & greatest commandment.

Have you ever wondered why when giving this commandment, God** and then Jesus*** started with the heart? I believe it's because the issues of life, and life itself, flow out of our hearts.****

Therefore it goes without saying that we need to first fully and truy love our hearts...in order to love with our hearts or even put it to any other use.

So I decided to share 5 tips on how we can and should do that:

H - Have regular spiritual & physical check-ups.*****
E - Exercise physically & spiritually******
A - Attend to your weight spiritually & physically - don't take things heart so they don't fill you up with bitterness and weigh you down. We also need to watch our food intake...it has a way of showing.
R - Rest & relax so you can be refreshed*******
T - Take God's word seriously and live by it daily.  
Proverbs 3: 5-8  - ⁵Trust the Lord with all your heart, and don’t depend [rely] on your own understanding. ⁶Remember the Lord [Know him] in all you do [on all your paths], and he will give you success [keep your roads straight]. ⁷Don’t depend on your own wisdom [be wise in your own eyes].  Respect [Fear; Hold in awe] the Lord and refuse to do wrong [turn away from evil]. ⁸Then your body will be healthy, and your bones will be strong [refreshed]. ********

Proverbs 4:20-22 - ²⁰ Dear friend, listen well to my words; tune your ears to my voice. ²¹ Keep my message in plain view at all times. Concentrate! Learn it by heart! ²² Those who discover these words live, really live; body and soul, they’re bursting with health.*********

Love your heart so you're here to love the Lord with all your heart, soul, spirit and strength.
This is key because we need that heart health in order to love everyone else.**********

References:
* Mark 12:30 - And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. (NLT)

**Deuteronomy 6:5 - Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. (NIV)

*** Matt 22:37 - Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind (NIV)

**** Proverbs 4:23
- Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that’s where life starts. (Message)
- Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (NIV)
- Guard your heart more than anything else, because the source of your life flows from it. (GWT)

***** Psalm 26:2 Put me on trial, Lord, and cross-examine me. Test my motives and my heart. (NLT)

****** 1 Timothy 4: 8 -
Exercise daily in God—no spiritual flabbiness, please! Workouts in the gymnasium are useful, but a disciplined life in God is far more so, making you fit both today and forever. (Message)

[For] Training your body [Physical exercise] helps you in some [or small] ways, but serving God [godliness] helps you in every way by bringing you blessings [since it holds promise] in this life and in the future life, too. (Expanded Bible)
******* Psalm 23: 1-4 - The Lord is my shepherd; I have everything I need [will lack nothing]. ² He lets me rest [makes me lie down] in green pastures. He leads me to calm [quiet] water. ³ He gives me new strength [renews my soul]. He leads me on paths that are right [righteous; or straight] for the good [sake] of his name [reputation].

******** Expanded Bible - emphasis mine
********* Message - emphasis mine

********** Mark 12:31 - The second command is this: ‘Love your neighbor as you love yourself’ [Lev. 19:18]. (Expanded Bible)


For further reading on Heart Truth & Heart Health:
"Cardiovascular disease (heart disease and stroke) is a leading cause of death for Canadian women, and yet many are not aware of this threat."
(http://www.heartandstroke.on.ca/site/c.pvI3IeNWJwE/b.3581757/k.DA04/Heart_Disease__Women_and_heart_disease_and_stroke.htm)
"Heart disease is the leading cause of death for women in the United States."
(http://www.cdc.gov/dhdsp/data_statistics/fact_sheets/fs_women_heart.htm)

It has NOTHING to do with it!

You'll need to excuse me as this may come across as venting...I'm simply trying to air an opinion. I guess, vents are used for letting air through - so whatever you consider this to be is ok by me. I'm sure it will also be ok with other Mrs. Pastors who (may) agree with my "opinion."

"Live with"

When I was looking for leadership quotes for a piece I was writing on my Professional* blog, I came across this one. I read it more than once and then decided, this is one to be shared "Pastorally."