By his side...

When I read this poem by Diane Tappe, the words that came to mind were: "By his side."

I Am the Preacher’s Wife 

I am the woman who proudly sits in the shadows as her husband stands in the light.

I am the one who knows her husband is a gift from God,

and so I give him back to my Lord through his full-time service.

Often times, I am so lonely for him because I share him with others.

But I am also pleased that he gives of himself so unselfishly.

I am the one who encourages the preacher when others sometimes fail to.

I am the one who listens to his dreams for the church and helps him look into the future

and see his dreams become a reality.

And when others wonder if he really cares,

I am the one who sees him on his knees, shedding tears for the future of the Lord’s church.

If you're someone who has been used to the "limelight" or desirous of it, it's easy to feel slighted or even offended when you're ignored as you husband is honored/applauded. As you mature as a Christian and wife, this is something that should be like water off a duck's back*. God's approval is definitely more important than man's applause.

I don't agree that "behind every successful man is a woman" - for me it's "beside every successful man is a woman." Every woman, not just Mrs Pastor, must be by their husband's side to support and stabilize him not to "stab" him. In John 19:34***, it's obvious that it was a solider close to Jesus who pierced his side. We should also be protective and not pierce them.

Today I celebrate my husband - it is an honour and privilege to be by his side*** - not just today but for life.

References:
* http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2013/11/water-off-ducks-back.html
** John 19:34 - One of the soldiers, however, pierced his side with a spear, and immediately blood and water flowed out. (NLT)
***http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2014/06/by-his-side.html

Tested...

...then trusted.

Those 3 words struck me as I listened to 1 Timothy 3 sometime ago. Let's read it together:

"Let me get back to you on that one..."

When I saw this picture, I fell in love with it...

For love's sake...

As I write this piece, I'm reminded of a phrase - "for God's sake" - I heard a lot while growing up - not so much these days. I know it is an idiomatic expression and some people may feel it was an "idiotic" expression...especially when it sounded like taking God's name in vain just to emphasize something. Well, I'm not going to spend time there as that's not where I'm headed.

"Cut yourself some slack..."

A few weeks ago, my husband was getting "stressed" over a flier that had unequal borders/ margins. I think the difference would have been ½ a centimetre - if it was that much. When he showed it to me and told me how he was planning to trim off the "extra" I looked at it and said to him, "It's ok as it is" actually what I meant but didn't vocalize was "Cut yourself some slack" - then decided to write about it.

I fully understand where my husband is coming from - because we were "baked in the same oven" under our dear Pastor Tony Rapu (@drtonyrapu). We were taught that our God is an Excellent God so Excellence should and must be our standard. I totally agree which is why in thinking that we needed to cut ourselves some slack, we must not become slack because:

He becomes poor who works with a slack and idle hand,

but the hand of the diligent makes rich.* 

Slack habits and sloppy work are as bad as vandalism.**

 

Being stressed and being slack are two ends of a continuum. We need to know when to "relax" a bit because if you're overstressed, you'll snap. Even elastic bands have a "breaking point" - and when it's past that point, it loses it's usefulness. I don't know how busy your year has been but I'm sure that the word "busy" may not fully capture it. As we inch our way towards Christmas (10 days to go), give your husband, family and yourself a present of some slack... 

Please take some time to rest and be refreshed. You know why? Next year will be busier than this year so you need the strength - not the stress - to keep going...to bigger and better things.

 

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas - one where you'll enjoy the presence of your family and friends more than the presents. Presents are nice-to-have

but the must-have is God's Presence. May He be with you and yours...

"See" you next year.

 

References:
* Prov 10:4 - Amplified
** Prov 18:9 - The Message

It must be in the name...

I spent some part of Friday night and Saturday watching final goodbyes to an amazing couple.
It was both very sad and extremely sobering.
Person after person talked about how this Mrs. Pastor, who's husband was known all over the world, was content to be his helpmeet - in the shadows. In all the years, I'd heard and read Myles Munroe, I'd never heard his wife, Pastor Ruth Ann, speak but he never left anyone in doubt on how much she meant to him.

As I thought about it, I wondered if her name had anything to do with it all. The Bible tells us about her namesake: 

^16-17 But Ruth said, “Don’t force me to leave you; don’t make me go home. Where you go, I go; and where you live, I’ll live. Your people are my people, your God is my god; where you die, I’ll die, and that’s where I’ll be buried, so help me God - not even death itself is going to come between us!”*

In this sad situation, she stood/sat by her husband right to the end. I guess for me the lesson from this was I must seek to complement my husband at all times. I agree that the names may be coincidental however, it was evident that she was clear on her purpose in life, marriage and ministry and was committed to it right to the end.

Another thing that stood out for me, from the tributes was that she took time to live fully with her friends. For some, being Mrs. Pastor can be lonely so we need to have a few friends. And beyond that, "make" and take time to spend quality time relaxing with them.

After such an emotionally-charged weekend, my prayer is that God will help us number our days, enjoy each day and also know and do all we have been called to do to His glory. AMEN!

Reference:
*Ruth 1:16-17 (MSG) 

Ways to show your church you love them* (4)

You'd think that after 3 weeks, we have enough tips on how to show our church that we love them. In some ways and with some of the tips in this and previous posts**, it almost feels like we should have a t-shirt that says just that - obviously someone has already come up with that idea :)

Let's move on...

Ways to show your church you love them* (3)

3rd week in a row, we've been sharing Sandra Peoples' tips. The key for me is not to try to do it all at once. In fact, there are some that will take time as you'll notice in this week's post:

17. Give generously of your time, money, and possessions. Mrs. Pastor: I remember talking a bit about giving** 2 years ago. It's truly a blessing and a grace to be able and willing to give. All I'll say is give your time to your family first...they are your first ministry.
18. Be visible and approachable around church. Mrs. Pastor: This is important - never put yourself on a pedestal.*** We must be an asset, not an accessory in and to our church. 
19. Realize that some of the pressure you put on yourself is just that- self-inflicted, and not from the church. Mrs. Pastor: This shows up in many ways. #17 above is a classic example of a tip that trips some of us up. Much as you may want to or believe you have to be, you don't have to be at everyone's beck and call. There's just not "enough of you." Some do things for others...just no one "says anything bad." Some others pressurize themselves in the dress arena.**** The list goes on... Depressurize so you don't explode or implode.
20. Take time to feed yourself spiritually- grow in the spiritual disciplines of prayer, bible study, and worship. Mrs Pastor: We must give ourselves the gift of time.***** I wrote about this 2 years ago and have really tried (and in many cases, succeeded) in finding and giving myself "do-nothing time." Once again confirming that, if you seek, you will find.
21. Don’t take a job or position just because if you don’t no one else will, allow others to step up and use their gifts. Mrs Pastor: I give myself a B+ here. Over this year, I have really gotten better at this - even if it feels like ants are crawling all over me. I've come a long way from when I wrote the piece on "What do you do in church?"****** I intend to get to an A+ soon. 
22. Get to know women in different life stages from your own and learn from them. Mrs Pastor: This is a great tip. I'm working on this but can do more here.
23. Be willing to accompany your husband on visits and in meetings so he is not alone with a woman. Mrs Pastor: This is a "by your husband's side" time...and the truth is you sometimes you don't know when others will be out and only the "woman" is home. I know it's not always possible especially at those times our husband spring visitation plans on us - that disrupt our planned family or even "me" time. Where possible, postpone something rather then let your husband be "exposed" - knowing that sometimes it's the visit that needs to be postponed.

We'll complete these next week...would be nice to know how you're doing so far.



References:
*http://www.sandrapeoples.com/pastors-wives-show-your-church-you-love-them/
** http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2012/12/giveand-let-go.html
*** http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2014/01/on-shelf.html
**** http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2013/08/mrs-pastor-vs.html
***** http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2012/12/the-gift.html
****** http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2012/01/what-do-you-do-in-church.html

Ways to show your church you love them* (2)

This is a continuation from last week's post. As usual, my comments will be in purple font.

10. Keep confidential matters confidential.
Mrs. Pastor: This is so true. Remember when I asked "Basket or Bucket?"** The fact that someone shared something with you doesn't mean you need to share it with anyone else (except your husband). For me the only exception is when it borders on Tip 12 below. We can all see smell and taste gossip when we hear it...yes all our senses pick up on it. However, in such cases ask God for wisdom on how to handle them.
11. You can’t do all things for all people, but be careful not to just do some things for some people.
12. Do not participate in gossip.
13. Respect your husband as the head of your family and the leader of your church.
Mrs. Pastor: At home and in church.
14. Spare your friends in the church the details of your marriage, find other women to share with who are not in your church.
15. Be real about your life, family, and weaknesses. Mrs. Pastor: This is so true. We must be real and relatable. Follow me on https://www.facebook.com/DearMrsPastor
16. Keep your home tidy (I’m not saying immaculate) for visitors. Mrs. Pastor: But first for your family - so it's obvious they are more important to you than visitors.

We'll continue next week....

References:
*http://www.sandrapeoples.com/pastors-wives-show-your-church-you-love-them/
** http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2014/02/basket-or-bucket.html

Ways to show your church you love them*

Last month was "Pastor's appreciation month" - so I decide to "repay" that appreciation in a way...and was blessed to find this piece by Sandra Peoples...my comments will be in purple font.