Except you are...you're not...

Some time ago I was a friend and colleague of mine were talking about how much "authority" some Mrs. Pastors like to demand and/or wield.

I also know of some Mrs. Pastors that want to be seen and treated as the Assistant or Associate Pastor of the local assembly where their husbands serve. From one Mrs. Pastor to another, the fact of the matter is:

Here to help...

Early one morning, I noticed my husband had quite a bit of stuff to do to be ready for service and had other pressing deadlines so I casually asked him:

"Is there anything I can help you with?"

  

Later on, I was pondering on  reaching out to help him and it clicked again that: I'm really "here to help" hence this topic. In being created to be a helpmeet* to our husbands, it means that as Mrs Pastor we must be doing any and everything to help our husbands. Yes - I mean any and everything...and the reason is simple - at least in my mind. So let me explain...

From me to all Mrs Pastors...

When I found this poem, I couldn't but thank God for the author...
and I'm sharing it with you early in the year as a reminder that someone somewhere appreciates you even if it doesn't seem like that sometimes...

TO OUR PASTOR'S WIFE

When we thank God for our pastor
We must give Him thanks for two,
For when your husband came to us,
God also sent us you.

A pastor's wife must be many things,
You have many hats to wear;
And we say thanks for all you do
And lift you up in prayer.

You adjust your life to meet the needs
Of your husband's congregation,
And it seems that you can always cope
With most any situation.

Your presence blesses all of us
Who know you from day to day.
As our pastor's wife, you are serving God
In a fine and worthy way.

Author Unknown

Source:

*http://www.hopecrc.ca/Appreciation.htm

You matter...

A few months ago, our church members wanted to surprise my husband and to thank him for how he's positively impacted their lives. I felt that was a really nice gesture. I was particularly touched when one lady said, we want you to sit beside him when we put up our "show"; to which I said...

"Pastor Treatment"

Sometime ago I was thinking about how the prophetic words of my pastor have come to pass in my life over and over again. For me it is a great privilege to see the word of God come to life in my life and of course the life of others. The Bible clearly advises: "Believe in the LORD your God, and you shall be established; believe His prophets, and you shall prosper."

(2 Chron 20:20 - NKJV)

Each time the word of the Lord from my pastor's mouth comes to pass it's a reaffirmation that he is indeed the servant of God and I must continue to God in his life - and of course honor him. I then started asking myself if I give my husband the same kind of honor and treatment as I give to my pastor who I look up to. To be clear, my husband is my pastor and too often those lines get blurred as it should be - or should they? I'm not really sure if they should or shouldn't so I'll let you decide as you read on...

To avoid burnout...

...write it down

...reach out for resources

The Bible is such a rich source that keeps giving...you can find a word for any and every situation in life.

I take Habakkuk 2:2-3 literally - "And the Lord answered me and said, Write the vision and engrave it so plainly upon tablets that everyone who passes may [be able to] read [it easily and quickly] as he hastens by. For the vision is yet for an appointed time and it hastens to the end [fulfillment]; it will not deceive or disappoint. Though it tarry, wait [earnestly] for it, because it will surely come; it will not be behindhand on its appointed day." (Amplified)

Marriage comes before Ministry...

I was opportuned to attend a Pastors' Wives Conference and it was interesting and illuminating to hear some of the issues that some Mrs. Pastors are facing.

On the first night, this topic dropped in my spirit - Marriage comes before Ministry...before God and even in the dictionary. Before we dive into this topic, let's be clear...Marriage is between a man and a woman - opposite genders - no more no less. Ok, let's go on.

As I was saying, marriage comes before ministry. Ok, let me back up for a second here...I am not saying that you must be married before you can go into ministry. What I am saying is: even if you or your husband was called into ministry before you got married to each other, you must reprioritize so you get the right results.

I daringly say this to Mr & Mrs Pastor: it is more important to preserve and protect your marriage than it is to preserve and protect the ministry. Ah! Yes ah! Remember the ministry is God's work...the church is God's bride. Let me pause here to say:

Dear (male) Pastors, take care of your bride - let God take care of His.

Too many marriages are in deep trouble because of the wrong priorities when it comes to these 2 "M" words - I won't even add children into the mix for now...

Marriage is God's idea so why would anyone think that their ministry is more important than their marriage? The only other thing more important than your marriage, is your personal relationship with Him. I encourage you to invest quality time and emotions in your relationship with God and your marriage - you'll see the fruits your ministry. Otherwise you'll have to deal with more thorns & tares in ministry than you need to - I join you to say: "God forbid!"

Watch your words...

Words make the world go round and also go round the world faster than you can imagine so we need to watch our words. Last week, we said we should T.H.I.N.K. about and before we speak.

Words are like eggs, once spoken (or broken) can never be "contained." It's always more pleasant to break an egg - an make an omelette or something similar than to make a mess.

To help put this in perspective, I've put different renditions of Proverbs 12:18 - a verse I recommend we commit to memory...and meditate on before we speak...

NLT:

Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.

The Message:
Rash language cuts and maims, but there is healing in the words of the wise.

God's Word Translation:

Careless words stab like a sword, but the words of wise people bring healing.

Good News Translation:

Thoughtless words can wound as deeply as any sword,

but wisely spoken words can heal.

English Standard Version:

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, 

but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

NIRV:

Thoughtless words cut like a sword. 

But the tongue of wise people brings healing.

Napoleon Hill gave the same advice slightly differently: 

“Think twice before you speak,

because your words and influence will plant the seed of

either success or failure in the mind of another.”

We are in a unique position to make or mar with our words - the choice is ours...watch your words.

Words travel and act fast...watch your words.

"Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit—you choose." (Prov 18:21 - Message)

Watch your words... 

T.H.I.N.K.

Someone blessed me with this by email...so I decided to be a blessing too.

Alan Redpath once formed a "mutual encouragement" fellowship at a time of stress in one of his pastorates. The members subscribed to a simple formula applied before speaking of any person or subject that was perhaps controversial.

T - Is it True?

H - Is it Helpful?

I - Is it Inspiring?

N - Is it Necessary?

K - Is it Kind?

Paul wrote, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."  (Philippians 4:8 - NIV)

I like this rendition: And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.  (Philippians 4:8 - NLT).

In trying to be a virtuous woman and walk worthy of my calling as a Christian woman, wife, mother & Mrs. Pastor, I hold this other verse close to heart:
"When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.

(Proverbs 31:26 - NLT).

Thinking before speaking takes conscious effort. Speaking kindly is another kettle of fish. I never cease praying that whenever I open my mouth to speak that there is kindness in my words whether it be in the form of advice or admonition. And now I pray: May this acronym guide our thinking and speaking...Amen.

Suggestion or Instruction?

When you read 1 Kings 11:1 - 10, it's crystal clear how Solomon made a mess of his life. How could someone who started so well end so badly...especially for the man who God made the wisest one that ever lived? A really unenviable ending.

As I thought about it and even as I type, I can't help but make a distinction between instructions and suggestions.

An instruction is: a spoken or written statement of what must be done, especially delivered formally, with official authority, or as an order.*
While a suggestion is: an idea or proposal put forward for consideration.**