On the shelf?

One day I was pondering on my level of involvement in ministry (as I do from time to time) and I couldn't help but wonder if some of us feel we're "on the shelf." Let me explain...

Remain his wife

Husband: "You're my wife!" 

Wife: "Yes and I don't want to become your widow!"

What would you do if you overhear an exchange similar to this? I was amused and totally agreed with the wife's response. In this instance, a wife was trying to encourage, more like force, her husband to eat healthy and he was demanding things he shouldn't eat and brought out the "you are my wife!" hammer...

It reminded me of how too many men use (and sometimes abuse) the popular "Wives submit to your husbands"* phrase. After listening to that exchange I started asking myself how much I express and exert the "I want to remain your wife, not become your widow" mindset.

As Mrs Pastor, my husband is busier than __________, ok I don't know who. The bottom line is, he's busy - I'm sure you know what I mean. Remember the "Where is my husband?" piece - you can read it again if you missed it.**

Much as we've been called to serve others, we must always remember that we can go further in ministry as we stay strong and healthy. As this year wraps up, please make one resolution  (for life) to remain your husband's wife, and not to become his widow. Similarly take really good care of yourself - including remaining attractive :) - so he remains your husband and not your widower.

Reference:
* Eph 5: 22 - 30 - ²² You wives must submit to your husbands’ leadership in the same way you submit to the Lord. ²³ For a husband is in charge of his wife in the same way Christ is in charge of his body the Church. (He gave his very life to take care of it and be its Savior!) ²⁴ So you wives must willingly obey your husbands in everything, just as the Church obeys Christ.
²⁵ And you husbands, show the same kind of love to your wives as Christ showed to the Church when he died for her, ²⁶ to make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and God’s Word;²⁷ so that he could give her to himself as a glorious Church without a single spot or wrinkle or any other blemish, being holy and without a single fault. ²⁸ That is how husbands should treat their wives, loving them as parts of themselves. For since a man and his wife are now one, a man is really doing himself a favor and loving himself when he loves his wife! ^29-30 No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it, just as Christ cares for his body the Church, of which we are parts. (Living Bible)
** http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2011/04/where-is-my-husband.html

Time to give

I really wonder why people wait for Christmas time to be generous. We must all realize that giving should be the way of living not something "wrapped" into a particular season.

I believe that much as a church should teach about giving to the church, it should also exemplify giving because a giving church is a blessed and happy church. Like Ben Carson says: "Happiness doesn't result from what we get, but from what we give."

So as this "season of giving" comes, I encourage you to come up with ways to inspire generosity and increase giving outside the church. If you take the time to look around, you'll see that needs abound; may our seeds abound much more.

Wishing you and yours a memorable Christmas - especially as you make it memorable for others... God bless!

Precious presents

Christmas is the Season of giving. With ~10 days to Christmas Day and people already exchanging gifts (presents), I'm sure it's obvious that there are presents & there are presents. There are expensive presents & there are precious presents. For instance, Jesus is both an expensive and precious presents... My family and I have also been blessed to received both types - I'll focus on an example of a precious one today...

What propels you?

Passion or Position?

Recently, I was sharing some challenges I'm having in ministry with another lady and she suggested: "Give them positions and they'll show up and participate." The first thing that came to my mind was: "What?!" Thankfully it didn't come out of my mouth because there were other words that quickly followed the "what" in my mind...and they may not have come out right.

Mentoring without a mentor...

As Mrs Pastor, I'm sure you know or have found out that without it being said directly, church members' expectation is that Mrs Pastor has a good reputation above reproach - almost bordering on perfection - I won't go there. For now, let's focus on what the Bible says in a roundabout way about Mrs. Pastors (& male Ministers' wives) when referring to the choice of church leaders:

"Noted"

Have you noticed how rich this world, especially the church, is with ideas of what we should do (better)? Try having what I call a “blank sheet of paper” meeting. You’ll end up with a book – actually a catalogue of things “we” can do.

Water off a duck's back...

Have you ever heard the saying: "Water off a duck's back?" Well, over the years, it's one phrase I've come to love and use a lot when describing myself.

It's an idiom that encourages us not to notice or dwell on negative words directed at us. It's not the easiest thing to do. However, when you realize that ducks swim (& feed) in water and yet water doesn't stick to them, you'll know that God must have made them that way for a reason...

...so Mrs Pastors and others can learn from them.

Beware of Parallel lines

I really cannot remember exactly how this topic came to me - I just remember it had something to do with the level or lack of relationship between church members.

It is fearful and even depressing to go to a church filled with what I'd call "parallel line" members...who are on their own all the time.

From personal experience, I know that when you first join a church you don't know who's who and may want to take your time to get to know people and "choose" who you relate with and how (deeply) you do. I fully understand that. What I don't get is when people just come and go - never wanting to be involved in anyone's life or in the church and clearly not wanting anyone in their space.

The paradox with such people is when something (especially negative) happens to them they wonder where their church members are and start broadcasting: "There's no love in the church. No one cares." I mean how can you say there is no love if you refuse to become part of the "Loving and Giving Circle?"

As a church member and Mrs Pastor, I'm more comfortable in a church where the members are interacting with each other - not just with the Pastor (& his family) - but are truly and regularly involved in each other's lives.  I'm aware that in interacting with each other, sometimes we can even get tangled and need help sorting out knots. I mean that's the essence of church - being there for each other and that sometimes results on stepping on each other's toes.

Church is meant to be a "Loving and Giving circle" - yes a bigger family and no family thrives on parallel lines. I almost feel that I may be "preaching to the choir" because in some instances, some pastors or more so Mrs Pastors want to be "left alone." In other words, their actions say: "I'm your pastor's wife - here to do a job or be by his side and that's all - no one should get into my business."
I agree that some of us may have been hurt (or burnt) before when we tried the "Loving and Giving circle" however, if Jesus didn't (& hasn't) given up on us - we shouldn't give up on interacting with others. The next time you want to live as a parallel line (as I sometimes want to) or see someone who wants to be a parallel line, ask yourself or them: "What if Jesus lived as a parallel line?"

How strong are you?

A weeks days ago, I was chatting with a dear friend (and fellow Mrs Pastor) - and ended up sharing what my definition of a strong woman is.

Before sharing my definition with more of us, I was curious about other people's definitions. This quote is a great starting point because I both agree and disagree with it...please "read" me out...