It can wait...can it?

Being Mrs. Pastor can be challenging...ok that's not really true.

The right way to put it is: Being Mrs. Pastor is very challenging. Yes it is - ask me about it! The great part of that challenge is that God's grace is always available. For example, sometimes I have so much to do & at the end of the day I realize I've done more things that were not on my "to do" list than things on my "to do" list. I used to get upset about it but I've gradually taught myself to strike a balance - "flow" when I have to & be firm with things I have to do.

"To do" lists are endless - for as long as we're alive. Now, I've decided that all I need to do is distinguish between which things on my "To do" list are "have to do today" or "good to do someday." The point is not to put off things till an unknown "someday" because: "Someday is not a day of the week." (Anon) The other thing about the "good to do someday" list is to realise the truth in the Spanish proverb:

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.

One heart...

...though many hats.

Does that phrase sound familiar? Well, it does to me because it's the life I live...so I made up the phrase to encapsualte that reality :)

I decided to share this just after the world celebrates love and, unfortunately, lust in some instances. The greatest commandments Jesus gave us was to "go into all the world...and love God and also man, as we love ourselves" (my paraphrase).

As women, and especially as Mrs. Pastor, we always wear very many hats and we have to have those "hats" handy wherever we go.

You could visit someone as "Mrs. Pastor" and realize that the person just needs a friend who will reach out and touch them at their level, not someone who will "preach at" them. At other times, you visit as a colleague or sister and realise it's "pulpit" time or that it's time to share your cooking and cleaning skills. It's so unpredictable.

Balancing these hats can be tricky because you have to always "look your best" even as you wear multiple hats at the same time. I've found that the best way you look your best is in wearing each hat "with a heart full of love." Needless to say that is not the easiest thing to do...but we cannot stop trying...we just can't.

Sometimes, I feel the pressure of unrealistic expectations from people who are older than me...then I just have to put on "Mummy hat" and reach out to them. Then at other times I almost feel that people just want to "use" me so I put on my "waitress hat" and serve them to God's glory. It's not easy and sometimes not pleasant - so I just set my mind to please God. I simply remind myself that the bottom line is: whatever I do, I must do as unto the Lord and to His glory - irrespective of which hat I'm wearing. Let His love flow - from our hearts & hats.

What should you do for the church?

When writing the "What do you do in church?"* piece, I started asking myself:

"Besides what you do in church, what should you do for the church?"

I know it's not the easiest question to answer because a cart-load of answers ran through to my mind as I asked the question...and then I settled on one - which for me is the most important one. If I may rephrase one of my favourite quotes**:

The most important thing that Mrs. Pastor can do for the church is 

love their Pastor.

Besides that being the best thing you can do for yourself and you family, imagine how much more blessed the entire church is when Mrs. Pastor & Pastor have and also demonstrate true and unconditional love for each other. I can imagine what is going through the minds of those who celebrate St Valentine's day - you may want to douse your husband with love and gifts tomorrow. 

Now, there is nothing wrong with those "I love my husband" gifts and cards - I like them too. The only thing I find wrong is where these things only come up once a year or max 3 times a year which then includes their birthdays and Christmastime. I believe (& know) that every and any time is a good time to give to your husband - it could be an article or attitude wrapped with love. It doesn't need to be expensive to be valued, it just needs to be sincere and that is valuable...

So please don't go buying cards and gifts because this Mrs. Pastor said that what she does - do it because you truly love your husband. Give him more than "Pastor Treatment"***...give him SPA (Sole Precious Attention).

References:
*http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.com/2012/01/what-do-you-do-in-church.html
**The most important thing that a father can do for his children is to love their mother. ~ Theodore M. Hesburgh
***http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.com/2011/12/pastor-treatment.html

Which is better?

Not sure if you have, but from time to time I hear people say: "it is better to apologize later than to ask for permission first." I wonder who came up with that.

What do you think? Permission or Apology - which is better?

I "agreed" with it mentally until something happened to me last year. At that point I decided what was better and decided to share my TEA with you...

"What do you do in church?"

Sometime ago, someone asked me that question. For a moment I wondered what the best answer to such a question would be. I mean when you don't know that I am Mrs. Pastor and you ask me: "What do you do in church?"
what is the right answer? Or shall I say: "What's the best answer?"
Here are some of the options that crossed my mind:

• "Not much beyond being Mrs. Pastor - so I'm responsible for Pastor (and almost all he does)."
• "Much more than I can recount (or you'd like to know) including being Mrs. Pastor."
• "I am everyone's back-up including my husband's - at times."

Well, I decided that the best answer was to clearly state what I actually do -   
not who I am. I mean being "Mrs. Pastor" is not a duty although it feels like that sometimes. As I said in my posting 2 weeks ago*, while there is an "Office of the Pastor," there is no "Office of Mrs. Pastor." Now that is one "office" I'm eternally grateful doesn't exist and besides it's not even scriptural**.

Can you just imagine what it would be like to be Mrs. Pastor and then be "employed" as Mrs. Pastor? I can't and I'd say "No thank you" if that offer ever came.

Now, so I'm not misunderstood, this is not to say I don't like "doing" things in church or working in the church office - I love it and would love to. It's just that doing it "title-less" helps - get my drift? I know some other ("established") Mrs. Pastors may not agree with me - so let's say it's my personal preference.

It's also great to have people come up to offer to help you in church... so as Mrs. Pastor, one thing we can all do in church is encourage others to step up to the plate by asking them:

"What would you like to do for our church?"

As you start thinking about some people you may want to ask that question, let me ask you the very same question I was asked which was were we started: "Mrs. Pastor, what do you do in church?"

When all is said & done, I hope more is done than said & we are good examples of service unto God...who add value to others' lives in more ways than one***.

References:
*http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.com/2012/01/except-you-areyoure-not.html
**Eph 4:11 "And His gifts were [varied; He Himself appointed and gave men to us] some to be apostles (special messengers), some prophets (inspired preachers and expounders), some evangelists (preachers of the Gospel, traveling missionaries), some pastors (shepherds of His flock) and teachers." (Amplified)
***Eph 4:12 " for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ," (NKJV)

It's more than "The Call"

You may have come across people who talk about being "Called to Ministry" - sometimes it's as if it's in fashion. With some of the things I've seen in my walk with God, I know that "being called" is not enough and it is beyond being eloquent - all those who are called must be properly equipped for the call.

I know that God does not always call the "qualified" (see: 1 Cor 1:27-31) but He definitely qualifies the called. Apollos was very eloquent - possibly called but evidently not properly equipped. "Now a Jew named Apollos, an Alexandrian by birth, an eloquent man, came to Ephesus; and he was mighty in the Scriptures. This man had been instructed in the way of the Lord; and being fervent in spirit, he was speaking and teaching accurately the things concerning Jesus, being acquainted only with the baptism of John; and he began to speak out boldly in the synagogue. But when Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they took him aside and explained to him the way of God more accurately." (Acts 18:24-26; NASB)

As Mrs Pastor, we must be sensitive, ready and willing to be like Priscillia who joined her husband Aquila to equip Apollos. In stepping into this role, we must be careful not to come across as trying to stop a person who is called from "going forth." We have to be clear that the purpose is: "for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ;" (Eph 4: 12 -Amp)

Obviously, this Mrs. Pastor and her husband did a very good job on Apollos such that Paul was able to say: "I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow. It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow. The one who plants and the one who waters work together with the same purpose. And both will be rewarded for their own hard work." (1 Cor 3: 6-8 - NLT)

I pray we will also be rewarded for our own hard work too...let's get to it.

Except you are...you're not...

Some time ago I was a friend and colleague of mine were talking about how much "authority" some Mrs. Pastors like to demand and/or wield.

I also know of some Mrs. Pastors that want to be seen and treated as the Assistant or Associate Pastor of the local assembly where their husbands serve. From one Mrs. Pastor to another, the fact of the matter is:

Here to help...

Early one morning, I noticed my husband had quite a bit of stuff to do to be ready for service and had other pressing deadlines so I casually asked him:

"Is there anything I can help you with?"

  

Later on, I was pondering on  reaching out to help him and it clicked again that: I'm really "here to help" hence this topic. In being created to be a helpmeet* to our husbands, it means that as Mrs Pastor we must be doing any and everything to help our husbands. Yes - I mean any and everything...and the reason is simple - at least in my mind. So let me explain...

From me to all Mrs Pastors...

When I found this poem, I couldn't but thank God for the author...
and I'm sharing it with you early in the year as a reminder that someone somewhere appreciates you even if it doesn't seem like that sometimes...

TO OUR PASTOR'S WIFE

When we thank God for our pastor
We must give Him thanks for two,
For when your husband came to us,
God also sent us you.

A pastor's wife must be many things,
You have many hats to wear;
And we say thanks for all you do
And lift you up in prayer.

You adjust your life to meet the needs
Of your husband's congregation,
And it seems that you can always cope
With most any situation.

Your presence blesses all of us
Who know you from day to day.
As our pastor's wife, you are serving God
In a fine and worthy way.

Author Unknown

Source:

*http://www.hopecrc.ca/Appreciation.htm

You matter...

A few months ago, our church members wanted to surprise my husband and to thank him for how he's positively impacted their lives. I felt that was a really nice gesture. I was particularly touched when one lady said, we want you to sit beside him when we put up our "show"; to which I said...