The sheer similarity between this article and some of the things we discussed propelled me to share the full article - in 2 parts to give time for "digestion" and maybe even "passing out."
As a pastor’s wife, I find myself
fighting the same internal battles that have plagued me from year one—only now
I recognize them more quickly and have tools to combat them. Ministry wives, do
you think or believe these lies, too?
1. My
identity is that of a ministry wife.
It doesn’t take much. Your husband
is called to a church or you announce to your friends and family that you’re
headed to the mission field, and suddenly you are labeled and introduced
everywhere you go as the pastor’s wife or the missionary’s wife. The labels so
quickly enter the heart, causing a subtle shift from identifying as a child of
God to identifying as a role, status, label or category. As our identity wraps
around the “ministry wife” label, we start questioning what a ministry wife does.
What are the ministry wife’s activities? How do we measure our performance as
the missionary wife? This subtle shift tweaks our motivation and reason for
ministry. It leads us away from the heart of God and our primary identity to
pride and performance.
2. I am not
called to ministry.
This isn’t just a lie we believe,
it’s also a go-to excuse for the timid and the resentful. I know because I’ve
used it myself during times when I just wanted to escape and run free. But the truth
is that God has called me to do this work. I wasn’t good at geometry proofs,
but it seems to me that if a=b and b=c, then a=c, and if I’m called to my
husband and he’s called to this work, I’m called, as well. My role in our
ministry looks totally different, but I’m called to it just the same. I honor
God when I honor the man he gave me. Mrs. Pastor: Agreed with last sentence. My other take on it is that as a helpmeet, I need to help my husband meet God's expectations of him in Ministry - so I need to stand by my man.
3. As a
ministry wife, I’m playing a specific, scripted role.
It’s suffocating to think that I’m
supposed to be doing the ministry wife thing a certain way, but I spent too
many years self-suffocating because I was trying to be like the pastor’s wife
at the church down the street or the ministry wife down the pew. I’ve tried on
all their personalities, activities and gifts, but, in the end, I’ve discovered
it’s freeing and way more fruitful to be who God made me to be rather than a
stiff imitation. Mrs. Pastor: Do you try shoes on before buying them? At least sometimes until you understand the sizing by a particular brand? Why is that? Personally, I do that so I'm comfortable. Similarly trying to walk in other people's "shoes" (or shadows) is awkward and trust me, you will not go as fast or as far as if you were wearing your own shoes. Forget and even break the mold** and #WalkInFreedom.
4. My
husband is important to the work of the church, but I am not.
My husband is up front and out
front. I’m just kind of sitting there. At least that’s what it feels like sometimes,
which, when I believe this lie, I fail to recognize the opportunities I have.
For some crazy reason, just because I’m a ministry wife, I can influence
people. I can speak grace into the burdened legalist. I can turn conversations
in a spiritual direction and offer biblical wisdom, and it’s not that awkward
because people expect it. I know when people are hurting, so I have
opportunities to offer comfort, help and Christ’s healing. How is that not
important to the work of the church? Mrs Pastor: Hmm taking it a bit further, who is there, with God's help, to ensure that your husband is "well and whole" enough to do that important work. You're definitely important at home and in church. We cannot afford to be passive Mrs. Pastors.***
To be continued...
*Source:
http://www.outreachmagazine.com/features/20207-ministry-wives.html#.WB2RAl37gVk.email
** http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.com/2016/04/forget-mold_11.html
*** http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.com/2013/07/which-type-of-mug-are-you.html
http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.com/2014/01/on-shelf.html
http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.com/2015/05/exercise-regularly.html
**** http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.com/2016/05/hold-applause.html
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