Where is my husband?

I smiled when this title dropped in my heart...

I wonder what your reaction was when you saw the title.

Being Mrs. Pastor is so involving that you could wake up one morning asking yourself: "where is my husband?" In fact, he may also wake up and ask the converse question: "where is my wife?" We all need to be cognisant of the fact that we can get so engrossed in being there for others, supporting, encouraging and praying for and with them, that we neglect our husbands, marriage, children and family life; that is a dangerous path to tread. There are so many needs out there to be met - and guess what - you, your husband and family have needs too.

Even in the ministry, there has to be "ministry-life-balance". Indeed, you must have a life apart from ministry even though for a Christian, your ministry follows you wherever you are. So we never get to "look" for each other in the "maze of ministry", my husband and I try to have some time for ourselves - it could range from being in the kitchen at the same time, watching TV after our children go to bed or going for a drive when our children are in school or visiting friends.

We cannot afford to be too busy to spend time with the person we vowed to "cleave to" for the rest of our lives and this is not about sitting beside or behind your husband in church - it is much more than that. It is all about being with him - esp. (emotionally, spiritually, physically) outside the "church." When was the last time you held hands - and it was not in a prayer meeting or for a prayer of agreement? You do not need to follow him around to be with him. You need to make all your times together count and that you have times when you're alone - not just in your bedroom. It is not selfish or unspiritual to want your husband to yourself - as your husband not as the pastor - and there is a difference.

Our priorities must be: God, Spouse, Children, Ministry then Career/Job...

do not change the order.

East or West...

...Home is best. I've always loved the rhyme in this phrase...and yet it should be the reality we all live in especially as Mrs. Pastor.

Your home has to be the best - a place of rest, a haven, a stronghold, a spa, a refreshment centre and the list goes on. With how busy our daily lives are - whether we work full-time/part-time in ministry, have a professional career, outside-the-home or stay-at-home/work from home jobs - it is so easy to let our busy-ness spill into our homes. That is definitely one thing we must all be vigilant about and guard against because it's one area that too often slips through our fingers all in the name of "being in the ministry".

Are you living in a Fishbowl?

When I saw this picture and phrase, I smiled. Then I began to wonder if I also felt that way...my response was a resounding “No”. I then realized that I need to be alert and active in ensuring that I am never put in a Fishbowl or deemed to be in one...how constricting! This phrase gives me some concern – no actually a lot more than "some" – it actually gives me a lot of concern. Was is coined by a Mrs. Pastor because that's how she felt or wanted to live or was it coined by others as indicative of their perception of how (or where) Pastor's wives live? Interesting phrase - I wonder what the thinking behind it was.

Mrs. Pastor

Life changes - many times and in so many directions -

and rightly so since change is the only constant thing in life.

I am continually amused and amazed how a lot of women (and men) start off as the wife (or husband) of an "everyday person" and wake up one morning as the spouse of a Pastor or a minister of the gospel...you'd think they saw that coming. I guess that's another way we know that we're not God Who knows the end from the beginning. Before I continue, let me take a moment to assure you (as God has assured me more than once):

Your future will be brighter by far than your past.

(Job 8:7 - Contemporary English Version)

 

I will bless you with a future filled with hope -

a future of success, not of suffering.

(Jer 29:11- Contemporary English Version)

Indeed, it is one thing to knowingly get married to someone who is already a Pastor or even to someone who is upfront in telling you that he/she has been called to (full-time) ministry. It's a totally different ball game to find out several years, months or even weeks after marriage that you are now married to a Pastor...or shall I say the person you married is now a Pastor.

Whichever way, your Pastor now lives with you and that changes things or shall a say, some things need to change. Personally, I knew in advance but I've had to make some conscious life and "style" changes. I was very conscious and cautious about the changes made so I do not lose the essence of who I am.
In wondering how other Pastors' wives are doing, I was led to set up this blog - so we have our "space" to have our say as we connect & learn from each other.

So feel free to send this link to any Mrs. Pastors (or Pastor Mrs) you know.
You never know who you will bless or encourage with your experiences and advice or whose experiences or advice will encourage and bless you.

My prayer is that this blog will help us grow and glow too...as we share our experiences and advice from "walking in Mrs. Pastor's shoes" - and there are many different sizes...which may pinch different toes. God bless.