Thank you for all...

...you don't do

Did you just jerk and recheck if you read the topic right?

Yes you read it right. 

This topic came to mind when I saw this picture appreciating Pastor for all he/she does.

You can...

As we wrap this quarter up, I want to remind you that you can achieve what you set your heart and mind to achieve.

My book "101 Quips and Quotes" is the product of the "YOU CAN" mentality robustly supported by my husband who never gives up on me. Actually, he challenges me to do more than I am willing and (I think) able to.

As Mrs. Pastor, we are expected to "go along" fully supporting our husbands...and it can be a bumpy ride now and again. However in it all, I've learned to see the beauty and bounty of God. So it is a thoriugh blessing - one I do not take for granted - to have a husband like mine, who fully supports me including refusing to be a "crutch" because he says he believes that I can...

Back story: The fact that I have/author 3 blogs today is all because of my husband saying "You can". In fact, he planted the seed of writing a book in my heart a few years ago when he asked, "Can't you turn your blog into a book?"

Today, as it marks 1 full month since my first of many books was published, I want to thank God for blessing me with a husband who keeps saying "You can" to me. As I say in my book,

"In marriage, each spouse shines brighter as you take the time to support & "polish" each other.Do not be a "polish remover" to your spouse."

"You can" buy your copy and I'm sure it will inspire you on what you can do too:
101 Quips & Quotes…that will charge and change your life

Your marriage matters...

...much MORE than your ministry

Career or Calling?

Recently I was thinking about myself and cast my mind back to how some people react when they know my husband is a pastor. Some people say: "Oh that's why you are like that at work."

"I can't do that...

...I'm a Pastor's wife."

Last year, a dear sister recommended I do something that would change the way I look...a bit.

As I thought about it - and looked around - I noticed that a lot of Mrs Pastors were doing the same thing or other things that I wouldn't do. It then occurred to me that what I was turning down/away from doing was not due to a lack of ability - rather it was my deliberate choice.

In other words, I could do it but chose not to.

The other dimension was that the reason for choosing not to do that was not solely because I am Mrs. Pastor but more because of my personal preferences based on my upbringing.

I then wondered how many of us use (maybe even misuse/abuse) the fact that they are Pastor and/or Mrs Pastor to do or be excused from doing particular things.

1 Peter 2:16 says: "Live like free people, but don’t use your freedom as an excuse to do evil. Live as those who are serving God." (ERV)

I agree that as Pastors and Pastors' Wives, we need to be good role-models and mentors. However, we need to know why we say "Yes" or "No" to particular things otherwise we cannot truly train or guide others on how to make some of those decisions. There are things that we should do or not do - whether or not we can. We must be intentional about our choices and help others too with such decisions. Otherwise you may find that some people do what they should not under the excuse that "afterall, I'm not a Pastor."

So really, my response should have been: 

"I do not want to do that because of my personal values and preferences" 

not 

"I can't do that, because I'm a Pastor's wife."

"Ouch - that hurts"

Those were the words that crossed my mind as a response when I remembered something my mother (of blessed memory) said to and taught me. It's been almost 30 years and I still remember her very sharp advice (pun intended): "Bite your tongue." 

In fact, if you have ever mistakenly bitten your tongue when eating I'm sure you know how it truly feels - not just figuratively. Yes, ouch - it hurts.

This pertinent advice not to say what I really wanted to say but shouldn't came to mind when I was gearing to make one of those "I told you so" type comments to my husband. And yes, those comments hurt... Ask me - I know from personal experience.  

The more I thought about it, I reflected on the blessing of being married to a man who is a pastor. Actually, it is both a blessing and a burden. The good thing about the blessing-burden equation is that it is more of a blessing than a burden when we manage the burden well. Which, as usual, is where we need the Holy Spirit's help.

Psalm 68:19 says: "Blessed be the Lord, Who bears our burdens and carries us day by day, even the God Who is our salvation! Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]! (AMPC)

As Mrs. Pastor, there are so many situations where we have to say something and many more where we may feel that we have something to say but it is better unsaid. We need the Holy Spirit to help us discern when, where, how, and what to say. We need to be wise at all times - even if the world celebrates April Fools' Day - we must never be fools.