The best thing about advice is you can take it or leave it... I really like this Rubber and Sponge" advice - published exactly 1 year ago. As I read it, I got more insight into being "Rubber" - you'll see my comments in purple font.
I still quote the pastor’s wife advice I was given 22
years ago. It was simple and sage.
Sitting in a hair salon, I watched the seasoned pastor’s
wife next to me get her Aqua-Net hair teased and set in rollers. She was in her
polyester skirt, and I was in my shorts. I was convinced we were nothing alike,
but I still needed some insight into this pastor’s wife gig. Somehow my naive
self was convinced I could do this pastor’s wife thing better than the
generation before me. (Funny how all generations think that.) All I needed was
a little intel.
So I popped the PW question. The same question I now get
asked by young women marrying that ministry man. “What advice would you give
someone going into the ministry?”
The quickness of her answer surprised me. I had expected
her to give some methodical thought to my question, or at least the spiritual
courtesy of praying about it and getting back with me.
Speaking in her southern accent
over the hum of the bowl shaped dryer on top of her head, she said,
“Sometimes
you need to be like rubber and sometimes you need to be a sponge.”
In the pause, I stared at her blankly trying to decipher
the meaning of this code.
Then she added, “Sometimes you need be rubber and let
things bounce off of you and sometimes you need to be a sponge and know what to
soak up.”
That was it.
That was it?
I was not real happy with my new advice. My only advice.
It was a small town and she was the only pastor’s wife I knew to ask.
NOW, I find myself quoting her!
The Sundays when it feels like everyone’s opinions add up
to overly critical expressions that define my very existence and identity…RUBBER!
I’ve learned to let it bounce off.
The Sundays when I’m depleted and God puts someone in my
path to help me…SPONGE. Although, I’ll admit my first internal response is to
be in tough “ministry mode” and think I don’t need help or encouragement, or
feel guilty if I do receive it. On these days I’ve learned to be a SPONGE and
soak in the love and help of others that God has put around me.
The Sundays that seem tense when my husband has received
some pushback from a staff member or advice from that well meaning
deacon…SPONGE and RUBBER! Sometimes even the hard to hear things have some
hidden truth. So, I ask myself, is there any truth here that I need to soak up?
(or my husband needs to soak up and I don’t need to be defensive) I find the
truth, absorb it, and let the rest of it bounce off.
Mrs P:
Taking the "rubber" piece a step further, the Holy Spirit said, sometimes you need to be a "Rubber eraser" - not just let things bounce off like water off a duck's back** but actually erase them from your memory so you don't have any ill feelings towards any who thought they were well-meaning or intended to be plain mean.
Thinking about my kitchen sink, I actually like my rubber sponge; it doesn't hold too much - just enough to be effective and successful when used on a dirty pan. Now, that's another sponge perspective - "take in only what you need" and as they say let the rest flow through to the drain not to your brain. If you find it goes up (to your brain and heart instead of down (to the drain), pull out your rubber eraser...erase it and move on. Convert any "stones" hurled at you to stepping stones.
References:
*http://arminwives.wordpress.com/2013/06/17/best-pastors-wife-advice-ever/
**http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2013/11/water-off-ducks-back.html
