Agree to disagree?

Have you ever heard someone say:

 "Let's agree to disagree"?

Do you think that should ever happen between Pastor & his Mrs.? I know it  and does happen between them, but should it?

Vashti - Virtuous or Vicious? (2)

We started this topic 2 weeks ago* - have you decided whether Vashti was virtuous or vicious? Well, I'll continue sharing my thoughts or shall I say, the lessons we can learn from her: 

Make a Dent!

Like me, you may wonder where I'd have come up with this such a topic from.

Ecclesiastes 7:2 says:

You learn more at a funeral than at a feast— After all, that's where we'll end up. We might discover something from it. (The Message)

That verse should give you a hint of where the topic came from. Yes, last month I attended a funeral - one of the most difficult I've attended so far. It was sad for many reasons especially as she was a Mrs. Pastor. A Mrs. Pastor with a difference.

Vashti - Virtuous or Vicious? (1)

Over two months ago, I mentioned that we can learn a few lessons fron Vashti*.The story about Vashti is a short and sharp one – I’m sure that most people who read her story have an opinion about her…one way or the other. This isn’t one of those Bible stories that you’d easily gloss over. It’s also not one of those stories you hear people preach about much – not even during pre-marital counselling or during marriage seminars – possibly because many Christians don’t “see” or feel that there is anything to be learned from her.

When people talk about her, they make her sound vicious i.e. ill-willed - not wishing her husband good. Well, I think very differently so let’s read Esther 1 together…yes, please open your own Bible and read it as I continue to type and highlight a few verses - and the lessons:

• She was the wife of a very influential and rich man – a king (v.1 & 9). I believe she understood that this unique position had some "pressure" with it - which for me could explain why she knew what her boundaries were.
• She was hospitable – maybe because she could afford it. Verse 9 says: At the same time, Queen Vashti gave a banquet for the women in the royal palace of King Xerxes (NLT). "Knowing" her, I believe that she went through with it because she wanted to - not that she was forced to.
• She lived up to her name and was beautiful. Did you know that her name means: "Beautiful" or "Good-looking"? Well, her husband was very proud of her. Verse 11 tells us: "He wanted the nobles and all the other men to gaze on her beauty, for she was a very beautiful woman." (NLT) There is no doubt that what her husband wanted her to do was totally inappropriate and disrespectful to her person, not to mention very demeaning, however the point is she had "something" - an attribute - he wanted to show off. Two sets of questions come to mind here. The first one for individuals is: "What is your name?" "What has God called you?" "Are you living up to that name?" The second is for all marriages: "Are there things about your husband or wife you like to "show-off" in a positive way or do you cringe when they show up either because of their Appearance, Behaviour or even BO, Character or what comes out (or could come out) of their mouths?" Have you talked about it? You should.

 To be continued

Reference:

*http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.com/2012/02/which-is-better.html

"Honey, they're here..."

Response: "Who is here?"

While I cannot say I have tons of experience in this area, I can only imagine how some of us feel when this happens. Yes - when people turn up unexpectedly in your home but your husband had been expecting them all the while and possibly forgot to inform you that he had "invited" people over or simply overlooked to assuming you'd be "fine" with it...Ok I know this happened more than once in the Bible. In Genesis 18, Abraham saw three men in the distance and invited them home and Sarah was clueless about it; I like how God's Word Translation puts it:

Abraham hurried into the tent and said to Sarah, Quick, take a sack of your best flour, and bake some bread. Then he ran to the herd and picked out a calf that was tender and fat, and gave it to a servant, who hurried to get it ready. He took some cream, some milk, and the meat, and set the food before the men. There under the tree he served them himself, and they ate. (verses 6-8)

It is note worthy that he lost no time in informing Sarah first - by himself - that he needed her to make some bread. Then he chose the best calf and mobilized one of his servants to prepared it. When everything was done, he went one step further to serve their guests himself. What a gift to a woman - a man who helps her!

Now, I know there are some superb husbands - like mine - who help out now and again and some husbands are "struggling" wondering why they need to help. Without belabouring the point, suffice it to say: "Helping others is one way of demonstrating love" and of course charity (love) should begin at home.

As Mrs. Pastor, we are expected to rise to the occassion and be hospitable - to expected and unexpected guests. I wonder how long it took Sarah to make the bread knowing that they didn't have the appliances and quick-fix mixes we have these days. Or even the time to butcher then "dress" the calf. Now, that would have been a long visit. I can't begin to imagine how she may have felt. Can you?

From personal experience, I know it is not always easy to be hospitable (& happy about such surprises), but it is possible if we have the right attitude. The right attitude includes using kind words when asking our husbands to minimize such surprises or even to be there with us in the kitchen...and that's a good start.

P.S.
Easter is this coming weekend - I wonder if this will happen to any of us...hmm.