The Preacher's Wife

Have you seen this film - "The Preacher's Wife"? Although it's not a Christian movie, it's what I'd call a "crunchy comedy" - that's my way of saying it gives you some thing to chew on. Others may say it gives you food for thought...and I'll add "energy for action" too.

It brings to light some of the shortcomings and oversights of being "sold out" to ministry. Watching it again after several years, I noticed a number of things and the key one was: Beware when you are "sold out" to the ministry because you may be a terrible debtor to your family who are supposed to be your first ministry. The Bible is clear on the requirements for a married man in ministry:

1 Timothy 3: 1,2, 4 & 5 -  ¹This is a statement that can be trusted: If anyone sets his heart on being a bishop, he desires something excellent. ²A bishop must have a good reputation. He must have only one wife, be sober, use good judgment, be respectable, be hospitable, and be able to teach. ⁴He must manage his own family well. His children should respectfully obey him. ⁵(If a man doesn’t know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) (God's Word Translation)

Titus 1: 6 - [These elders should be] men who are of unquestionable integrity and are irreproachable, the husband of [but] one wife, whose children are [well trained and are] believers, not open to the accusation of being loose in morals and conduct or unruly and disorderly. (Amplified)

My husband, children and I watched it together years ago and we took note of our "dos" and "do nots" - the main one was: "Family first-after God."  Without a doubt, some things in the film were exaggerated and others were understated -which is why it's a film. I suggest that you start by watching this film with your husband (& immediate family if possible) as a form of relaxation - there will be no need to lecture - if you do this prayerfully and you'll be blessed.  If you see (or even smell) traces of some of the things we saw in the film creeping up on your marriage, I suggest that you pray and then discuss them with your husband. 

I definitely cannot overemphasize what I call the "Hierarchy In Ministry" (HIM):

God, Spouse, Children, Ministry, Job/Career - which is part of your ministry.

I'd love to hear/read your testimonies...you can send an email to dearmrs.pastor@gmail.com if you'd rather share it in private  than comment on this posting. One way or the other, it will be nice to hear/read from you.

The Seed and the Soil

Before we dig up the "soil" for this piece, I'd like to point out that: When it comes to gardening, I'm as green as can be. I don't have "green fingers" not even a "green thumb." However, I know quite a bit about the benefits of sowing and need to sow the right seed in the right soil to get a bountiful and beneficial harvest from personal experience...so I'm not that green afterall...

Well, now that we have that out of the way, let's proceed...

Pastors vs. Fathers?

I was intrigued when I saw this picture on a blog.* I was relieved and even agreed when I checked the article on the blog and they said:

 "the more accurate statement is that “great fathers could make good pastors.”"

Now that is a statement I can stand behind because being a good father, where the pastor is married and has children, is one of the prerequisites of being "qualified" to be a pastor as stated in the following 2 Bible passages:

1 Timothy 3: 1-5 tells us that:

THE SAYING is true and irrefutable: If any man [eagerly] seeks the office of bishop (superintendent, overseer), he desires an excellent task (work). ²Now a bishop (superintendent, overseer) must give no grounds for accusation but must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, circumspect and temperate and self-controlled; [he must be] sensible and well behaved and dignified and lead an orderly (disciplined) life; [he must be] hospitable [showing love for and being a friend to the believers, especially strangers or foreigners, and be] a capable and qualified teacher, ³Not given to wine, not combative but gentle and considerate, not quarrelsome but forbearing and peaceable, and not a lover of money [insatiable for wealth and ready to obtain it by questionable means]. ⁴He must rule his own household well, keeping his children under control, with true dignity, commanding their respect in every way and keeping them respectful. ⁵For if a man does not know how to rule his own household, how is he to take care of the church of God?  (Amplified)

Titus 1: 6-9 reiterates:

⁶they must have a good reputation and be faithful in marriage. Their children must be followers of the Lord and not have a reputation for being wild and disobedient. ⁷Church officials are in charge of God's work, and so they must also have a good reputation. They must not be bossy, quick-tempered, heavy drinkers, bullies, or dishonest in business. ⁸Instead, they must be friendly to strangers and enjoy doing good things. They must also be sensible, fair, pure, and self-controlled. ⁹They must stick to the true message they were taught, so that their good teaching can help others and correct everyone who opposes it.  (CEV)

As we celebrate Father's Day (June 17th), I encourage each Mrs. Pastor & Pastor Mrs. to reflect on how we're supporting our husbands so they are not only good pastors but great fathers. I even extend this "invitation" to all women because who knows, your husband could very well be a pastor in the making...I know how it is, it happened to me. The bottom line is: it takes a man and a woman coming together (in marriage) to "produce" a Father and a Mother...so we might as well support ourselves to be the best possible. Wishing us all a Happy Father's Day!

Sources:

*http://www.acts29network.org/acts-29-blog/pastors-make-great-fathers/

A small fish in a big pond...

...or a small fish in a big pond?

I know we have been called to dominate...it's part of our 5-fold mission from God:

“Be fruitful and multiply;

 fill the earth and subdue it;

have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (Genesis 1:28 - NKJV)

It's sad to note that though we're called to dominate things, a lot of us are going around trying to dominate people - sometimes using manipulation and emotional blackmail to get others to do what we want them to.

Overtime, I've come to notice (very sadly) that more and more people, including Mr. & Mrs. Pastor, want to be seen, heard, obeyed and "worshipped" - it's all a big SHOW as if we're big fish in a small pond.

I'm not saying you are not important all I ask is that you remember that our brother Paul, who wrote more than half of the New Testament, said:

"For by the grace (unmerited favor of God) given to me I warn everyone among you not to estimate and think of himself more highly than he ought [not to have an exaggerated opinion of his own importance], but to rate his ability with sober judgment, each according to the degree of faith apportioned by God to him." (Romans 12:3 - Amplified)

Without a doubt, you hold an important and privileged position as Mrs. Pastor but that will never make you "God" to the people He has placed in you and your husband's care. You are an "Oracle of God" but not God. Please take the time to continually check your motives - so you are using things and loving people not loving things and using people. We're all small fish in God's big pond, irrespective of how mega our churches may be...

...please don't ever forget that!