By his side

I often read/hear about us wives being referred to as being by our respective husbands' sides. In fact, the poem* I shared just before Mother's Day also included that phrase at least 3 times.

So what does it mean to be by your husband's side? Just like a coin, there are 2 very distinct - and conflicting - sides to this special position that only you have - in YOUR husband's life.

In Exodus 17:12** we see Aaron and Hur who stood by Moses' side to hold up his hands - when they were in the face of the battle. Something to note is, if they hadn't stepped up to do that, they would have been part of the losing side. When we pray for our husbands we are holding up their hands... and there are times when we need to physically stand by their sides.

The flip side, we see in John19:34*** where the soldier close to Jesus' side to pierced Him when He was already going through a difficult experience. Like Jesus, no one needs their difficult experience to be made more difficult especially not by someone so close, so trusted. You can almost feel David's pain in Psalm 41:19

Even my best friend, the one I trusted completely, the one who shared my food, has turned against me. (NLT)

Yes, that was an eye-opener for me especially after the various conversations I had with 2 other Mrs Pastor friends 2 months ago. I wrote about how they sharpened me - remember?****

In discussing (and dissecting) our best intentions for our husbands and the Ministry, it was obvious that we could easily slip from supporting them to stopping them from being and doing their best. There's a thin, almost invisible, line between being a "Help-meet" or a "Help-beat."

Some questions to consider:

Are you by your husband's side?

If yes, what are you doing at your husband's side?

If no, why not?

Ecc 4: 9-12 says: 

⁹ Two are better than one because they have a good return for their hard work. ¹⁰ If either should fall, one can pick up the other. But how miserable are those who fall and don’t have a companion to help them up! ¹¹ Also, if two lie down together, they can stay warm. But how can anyone stay warm alone? ¹² Also, one can be overpowered, but two together can put up resistance. A three-ply cord doesn’t easily snap. (CEB)

We used these verses at our wedding - they read so nicely at the time. Now I'm living them because Ministry can either lead you into misery or take you up into Mrs-try & Ministry.*****  

As Mrs Pastor, my personal goal is to succeed in life and the truth is when my husband thrives, so do I. At those times there's more to complement (& thank) God about rather than complain. So "by his side," we must be positive energy urging him on not piercing & draining his energy.

Gen 2:18 - God doesn't want our husbands to be alone...and He brought us into their lives for a reason. I look back on some of my comments or suggestions I received when my and my Mrs Pastor friends chatted and thank God He sent me positive Sharpeners before I (unknowingly) changed sides - from being an effective Help-meet to a destructive help-beat. May God continually surround us with the right company.

References:
*http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2014/05/happy-mothers-day.html

** Ex 17:12 - Moses’ arms soon became so tired he could no longer hold them up. So Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on. Then they stood on each side of Moses, holding up his hands. So his hands held steady until sunset. (NLT)
*** John 19:34 - One of the soldiers, however, pierced his side with a spear, and immediately blood and water flowed out. (NLT)
****http://pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2014/05/help-meet.html
***** http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2012/09/are-you-in-ministry-or-mrs-try.html

Ecc 4:10 - If either should fall, one can pick up the other. But how miserable are those who fall and don’t have a companion to help them up. (CEB)