Monday, November 21, 2016

7 Lies Ministry Wives Believe* - concluded

So we started on this 2 weeks ago - and I added a few comments in purple** - and will do same this time - and include a picture or 2 or more. 

5. My job as a ministry wife is to serve people.

OK, yes, I serve people. But people are not who I am ultimately serving. Like No. 1 listed above, there is such a subtle difference between the two that I find this lie the easiest to believe. After all, ministry is about people, being with people and meeting the needs of people. But if people are my primary motivation, if I look to them for cues of what I should be doing, how I should be doing it or how well I am doing it, ministry easily becomes a chore and a losing game. Ministry is about serving God, looking to him for direction and for power to fulfill what He asks, and doing all of it to please him. Serving people is a natural byproduct of serving God. Mrs Pastor: Yes! Yes! Yes! So ensure that what you are doing is pleasing God**** - not focused on pleasing man - women and children included of course... 

6. I have to be available to everyone at all times.
How’s this for a big fat lie: I have to be at everything, do everything, say yes to every request and know everyone equally. We know this is a lie because if any woman tried to do all these things, she would be a boundary-less blob of crazy. She would have no good friends, no time to rest, and would be saying no to her family at every turn so she could say yes to everyone else. In fact, if she has pinpointed the deceit of No. 5 and seeks God’s leadership in her time and decisions, she will have priority time for the Lord, for her husband and family, and for rest. She will, in fact, be sane.
Mrs Pastor: My take on this is simple: When you become Omnipotent, Omniscient and Omnipresent then you will easily be available to everyone, at all times for any and everything. Until then, my advice is: "Learn to say "No" without feeling guilty (sometimes) at least for your own sanity."

7. I can’t ask for help or reveal my weaknesses and struggles.
Ah yes, this one. This is a modern-day version of the “the pastor’s wife can’t have friends in the church” lie, birthed out of the Pinterest and Facebook era of cultivating a good exterior and being reluctant to admit weakness. This isn’t always the ministry wife’s fault, but instead a cyclical pattern between the church and its leaders. A ministry wife, for example, may share something with a trusted friend, and either that friend has no idea of how to respond or they blab it to others, causing the ministry wife to retreat back into herself. It’s a lie either way, this idea that a ministry wife doesn’t have struggles or that she shouldn’t be able to safely reveal them to others so as to receive the ministry of the church.

Ministry wives, here are the truths:
Your identity is as a daughter of God. You are approved and beloved by him.

You are called to a man who is called into the ministry, therefore you are called into ministry.

God only expects you to be you and to use the specific gifts he’s given you.

You are influential and important in the work God is doing through his church.

You are serving God, not people, although you will serve people as an outflow of serving God.

It’s proper and right to set limits because you are limited person.

You need the church because you need sanctification and community.

Which of these lies do you most often believe? What lies would you add to the list?


Christine Hoover (@christinehoover) is the wife of a church planter and author of The Church Planting Wife: Help and Hope for Her Heart (Moody, 2013) and From Good to Grace: Letting Go of the Goodness Gospel (Baker Books, 2015). This article was originally published on Christine’s blog, Grace Covers Me.


* http://www.outreachmagazine.com/features/20207-ministry-wives.html#.WB2RAl37gVk.email
** http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.com/2016/11/7-lies-ministry-wives-believe.html

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