Being Mrs. Pastor...

...is just a part - not all  - of who you are.

Ever since I "became" Mrs. Pastor - or more correctly since my husband became a pastor - I have consciously & consistently made an effort to remain authentic.

A few months ago, I decided to check online for any resources that could help me in this "crusade." Knowing that I am not yet a world-acclaimed author, I knew it will definitely benefit us all if I could also point you to other sources. You cannot imagine my joy when I found this book: "I'm more than the Pastor's Wife: Authentic living in a Fish bowl world" by Lorna Dobson. The title was perfect so I bought it since "the taste of the pudding is in the eating."* The other reason was because I took this idiom literally: "don't judge a book by the cover."* Reading it was an even more joyful experience - because it didn't meet my expectations - it exceeded them. 

So I'll just share a few tidbits from it - just to whet your appetite:

I was happy to see we agreed on this: “Leave room for flexibility while making your marriage a priority” - which I have written about more than once.** In fact, my husband are now discussing how to create some structure around our flexibility...at least for our children's sake so they are not put off from ministry. This leads nicely to 2 profound & foundational lessons she learned from another mother:

·         “Our family is our mission field, and we dare not miss the opportunity by being too busy for our own spiritual growth and our children’s spiritual education.”

·         “No matter what our status in life is, our responsibility to minster to our family is more important than looking for other ways to serve the Lord.”

She concludes that page saying: “staying at home for family time may not seem as spiritual as attending a church function, but sometimes it is more important.” Harsh or “unspiritual” as it may sound, I believe that God expects us to be more accountable our children than for the members of our church. Yes, we need to care for all those in our sphere of influence - some more than others.

On to another subject, here are 2 tips she got from other pastors’ wives:

“Be interesting and sharp, especially in your appearance. Your husband is in contact very often with women who are on their best behaviour and appearance. They would like your husband’s attention.”

“Attend to your personal relationship to your husband. If he is hesitant or unresponsive fight for it!” Well, I’m sure you know this means that you must ensure that romance remains relevant in your marriage…feel free to email me (dearmrspastor@gmail.com) if you need ideas.

She even shares a wake-up call tip for our husbands: “If a man burns out and loses his family, someone else will step into the pulpit and the work will go on.” Ouch! - it is as bare & bitter as the truth can get - and I've written about it too.***

For me the bottom line is if (& when) we focus our energy & time on being good christian & worthy wives, being Mrs. Pastor will be something we'll take in our stride. 2 things I always remind myself of: be humble and human (not carnal). When you know who you are in Christ and live up to that - labels won't matter.

References:
*Age-old saying/idiom; author unknown
**http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.com/2011/05/be-set-in-your-ways.html
http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.com/2011/10/waiting-list.html
Another good resource: http://www.thrivingpastor.org/articles/married/
***http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.com/2011/12/marriage-comes-before-ministry.html