Monday, June 10, 2013

The Willing Wife...

...is the Winning Wife.

That sounds like a mouthful and I'm wondering what I'm getting myself into.

This topic occurred to me when I was writing my piece titled: "The Gift."*
I then decided to wait till I was in the right frame of mind not to mention right "heart-space" before writing this. Being willing is not something that happens willingly - pun intended - at least that's how it is for me sometimes.

Being willing means to be ready, eager, or prepared to do something gladly.
The key word in that definition is "gladly." Pondering on that word resulted in introspection..."How ready am I to do &/or say things that bring gladness?" 

A lot of people like quoting this "gladdening" verse - Proverbs 18:22: The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord. (NLT)

I find it interesting that another "favourable" verse about wives comes right after an "unfavourable" one:
Prov 19: 13b - 14 - a quarreling woman is like constantly dripping water. Home and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a sensible wife comes from the Lord. (God's Word Translation)
God has a way of making linkages in His word so we "get it." For instance, the verses preceeding the first verse I quoted say: A man’s [moral] self shall be filled with the fruit of his mouth; and with the consequence of his words he must be satisfied [whether good or evil]. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life]. (Prov 18:20-21)**

The Bible - especially Proverbs - is full of verses that talk about the use (& produce) of our tongues. In 5 places in Proverbs, reference is made to a quarrelling/nagging/contentious wife (or spouse - as The Message puts it).

It is evident that quarrelling is not gladdening. God created woman because He said "it is not good for a man to be alone" and then later on inspired King Solomon to say:

"It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife."***

"It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home."****
Sound paradoxical? Well, the question is: "How willing are you as a wife (or husband) to enjoy your home in contentment, not endure it in contention?" 

The other 2 verses of the 5 I mentioned earlier reiterate the same thing:
It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop [on the flat oriental roof, exposed to all kinds of weather] than in a house shared with a nagging, quarrelsome, and faultfinding woman. (Prov 21:9 - Amplified)

A continual dripping on a day of violent showers and a contentious woman are alike; Whoever attempts to restrain [a contentious woman] might as well try to stop the wind—his right hand encounters oil [and she slips through his fingers]. (Prov 27: 15-16 - Amplified)

It is frightening to think that it is better for your husband (or wife) to be "safer" exposed to inclement weather than to be under the same roof as you. God forbid! The way out of this is living by a popular four-letter word that is unfortunately preached more than it is practiced - even by Mr. & Mrs. Pastor. 

Let me digress briefly... When I thought about writing this piece, I asked God which of my blogs was the right "home" for it because I was wary that readers may think that I'm implying that "Ministry marriages" are in trouble. Some may be however the point is that as Ministry couples, we need to be shining examples of willing and winning marriages - and we need to know how to show how.

Ok back to the topic...the four-letter word that you might have guessed is LOVE. Love is a verb not a noun - it is demonstrated by our actions not just by words. Many Bible verses talk about love (& ways to demonstrate it) but I'll concentrate on 5 verses - 1 for each of the "unfavourable"***** ones mentioned earlier:

Prov 17: 9 - Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends. (NLT)

Prov 10:12 - Hate stirs up conflict, but love covers all offenses. (Common English Bible)

1 Cor 13: 5 - Love is not ·rude [disrespectful], is not ·selfish [self-serving], and ·does not get upset with others [is not easily provoked/angered]. Love does not ·count up [keep a record of] wrongs that have been done.  (Expanded Bible)

Col 3:13 - Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. (NLT)

1 Pet 4:8 - Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins [forgives and disregards the offenses of others]. (Amplified)


The wife/husband that is willing to love & forgive is the Winning wife/husband. 
"A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers." ~  Ruth Bell Graham

What a better day than on our wedding anniversary to share this? I thank God for keeping my best friend & I together for 13 years and counting.
We'll continue to be willing and keep winning in Him. AMEN!
 
Isaiah 1:19 - If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land
(Amplified)

References:
* http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-gift.html
** Amplified
*** Prov 21:19 - NLT
****Prov 25:24 - NLT
***** Prov 19:13b; 21:9, 19; 25:24; 27:15-16

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