Vashti - Virtuous or Vicious? (2)

We started this topic 2 weeks ago* - have you decided whether Vashti was virtuous or vicious? Well, I'll continue sharing my thoughts or shall I say, the lessons we can learn from her: 

• She was also a very vocal woman – a clear communicator. From verse 12, it's obvious that the eunuchs were not in doubt about what she meant by what she said. Are people always sure that we say what we mean and that we mean what we say? Or do they need to double check? Are you prone to sugar-coating things or cutting in your remarks? Eph 4: 15 and 25 both stress the importance of speaking the truth in love - "Rather, let our lives lovingly express truth [in all things, speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly]." "What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ's body we're all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself." ** Before we move on, I believe it is important that we note "how," not just "what" she communicated. We learn from Vashti how not to communicate - her message was crystal clear but the mode is not a good model. When you have to communicate with your husband or others remember that the accuracy of the message and appropriateness of the mode both matter. I'm sure you have heard it said that sometimes when a wife (or any woman) says to her husband (or anyone) "Nothing" in response to the question: "What's wrong?" it actually means "Something is wrong - and you'd do yourself favour to find out and possibly deal with it." We can do better than that...in fact, we should do better than that.
• She was a pace-setter – an example to many. Verse 17a: Before this day is out, the wives of all the king’s nobles throughout Persia and Media will hear what the queen did and will start treating their husbands the same way. (NLT) For me, this verse raises a soul-searching question for me - and I believe it should be the same question for each and every Mrs. Pastor. "If/when people hear/see what obtains in your marriage/home would you recommend that they treat their husbands/family the same way?" I pray we can answer "Yes" to that question and God will agree with us. 
• She was valuable to her husband – he missed her otherwise Esther 2:1 would not have said: But after Xerxes’ anger had subsided, he began thinking about Vashti and what she had done (NLT). For all you know they were friends and kept each other company in the quietness of their home. I've learned that the best marriages are those where the couple are each other's best friends. One of my favourite verses Prov 12:4 says: A virtuous and worthy wife [earnest and strong in character] is a crowning joy to her husband, but she who makes him ashamed is as rottenness in his bones***. Imagine what people would have said about the king, her husband, if she had obeyed his flippant command? She would never have been considered a virtuous woman because a virtuous woman is only one whose husband can stand at the gate and hold his head up high - to God's glory.

For me, Vashti was a Leading Lady (we've talked about that term before****). One lesson we must all learn from Vashti (& live by) is:

Know the importance and impact of your position as Mrs. Pastor - your character and conduct must remain a source of crowning joy for your husband and glory to God.

References:
*http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2012/04/vashti-virtuous-or-vicious-1.html

**Eph 4:15a - NLT & Eph 4:25 - The Message
***Amplified version

****http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.com/2011/08/leading-ladies.html