Since today is the 10th day of this month, I felt it will be a good day to start sharing a collation of 10 tips ( my "10 Ps") I've gained from personal experience and gleaned from other Mrs. Pastors* - italics and bold, mine. The first time the topic dropped in my heart, I wondered if there was any other material out there, so I looked and found a couple of interesting ones (yes, seek and ye shall find).
The "conclusion of the whole matter," as Solomon said, is: by and large, all Mrs. Pastors have the same, or at least very similar, challenges - in varying degrees and dimensions. So here are 10 tips from me to you - and they are not in any particular order of priority:
The "conclusion of the whole matter," as Solomon said, is: by and large, all Mrs. Pastors have the same, or at least very similar, challenges - in varying degrees and dimensions. So here are 10 tips from me to you - and they are not in any particular order of priority:
1. Priorities: I’ve shared this Hierarchy In Ministry (“HIM”) several times because we must never forget that it is all about Him – God. Cindy Dykes puts it this way: “Know Your Priorities: The ministry is your husband's job, and you're his helper. As I see it, our jobs are more to be wives and mothers than the default VBS director, church cook, or even pianist. My top priority has been to make my home a haven — family first, and then church. Set boundaries and focus on your first calling, which will allow you to follow God's leadership in church involvement.”
2. Partnership: I’ve said this before and will say it again, as a “Mrs.” you are your husband’s helpmeet and even moreso as Mrs. Pastor. You’re there by his side to “push him up” not pull him down. In Miranda Vande Kuyt’s words: “Become your spouse’s best friend. Churches come and go but your spouse will hopefully remain. You will probably have to move multiple times for new ministry opportunities, leaving many friends behind. Establish a strong partnership with your spouse.”
3. Purpose: Before becoming Mrs. Pastor you must have been a Christian – yes it’s obvious since we know believers marry believers. The point is that before and beyond being Mrs. Pastor, God has a purpose and calling for you. It is important that you know what it is and do not neglect it - stir up that gift and walk worthy of His calling on your life. Miranda Vande Kuyt’s advice is: “Find your calling in the church. When your church hired your spouse it was not a 2 for 1 deal. You are an individual that has unique gifts and abilities. Find a ministry that you can be passionate about while serving. Ask God to show you where he wants you to serve – He will.”
2. Partnership: I’ve said this before and will say it again, as a “Mrs.” you are your husband’s helpmeet and even moreso as Mrs. Pastor. You’re there by his side to “push him up” not pull him down. In Miranda Vande Kuyt’s words: “Become your spouse’s best friend. Churches come and go but your spouse will hopefully remain. You will probably have to move multiple times for new ministry opportunities, leaving many friends behind. Establish a strong partnership with your spouse.”
3. Purpose: Before becoming Mrs. Pastor you must have been a Christian – yes it’s obvious since we know believers marry believers. The point is that before and beyond being Mrs. Pastor, God has a purpose and calling for you. It is important that you know what it is and do not neglect it - stir up that gift and walk worthy of His calling on your life. Miranda Vande Kuyt’s advice is: “Find your calling in the church. When your church hired your spouse it was not a 2 for 1 deal. You are an individual that has unique gifts and abilities. Find a ministry that you can be passionate about while serving. Ask God to show you where he wants you to serve – He will.”
4. Plug in: We must all remain plugged in to God. Cindy Dykes said: “Don’t trade ministry for spirituality. The Bible is not just a book to help you teach, it’s to make you spiritual. If every time you open your Bible, it’s for a sermon outline or teaching lesson, God can never change YOU. Let His life in you transform you into a powerful, anointed leader.”
5. Pray: The bible advises us all to pray without ceasing. Miranda Vande Kuyt shared a simple yet profound prayer point and advice: “Pray for your marriage, your church and everything in between. Ask others to pray for you too.” Prayer must always be our first port of call and only resort not our last resort. In fact, this should be the first P.
At the risk of making this posting too long, let's talk about the rest next week...
"Top 10 Tips for New Pastors’ Wives" by Miranda Vande Kuyt - http://mirandavandekuyt.wordpress.com/2011/09/25/10-tips-for-new-wives/
"Tips for new minister's wives" Cindy Dykes - http://www.lifeway.com/ArticleView?storeId=10054&catalogId=10001&langId=-1&article=Tips-for-new-minister's-wives
"The Pastor's Wife's Survival Guide: Top 12 Ministry Bloopers" Dr Julie Barrier - http://www.crosswalk.com/church/pastors-or-leadership/pastors-wife-survival-guide-12-ministry-bloopers.html
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