This week, I just want to focus
on 1 “Don't" and 1 "Do." Again, my comments are in purple font.
Don’t Respond to Every Request for Help
That doesn’t sound very spiritual, I know,
but somehow we begin to think that we are there to help out wherever there is
someone in need. Whether that’s a marriage on the rocks, a child who needs
babysat, or someone who needs their blocked sink fixed – we can’t possibly
respond to all the needs of a congregation and stay sane. I remember early on
in our time at one church, I sat down in church for a Sunday service and the
lady in front turned round and said, ‘Pauline, the sun is coming through the
windows and I can’t see the pulpit’. What was I meant to do?!!!That is a very trivial example – and I did respond to it. I wish I had not taken it on myself to respond to that request, as well as some others. Why do we think we have to? Who do others think we have to? What is our job description anyway? We haven’t got one! So, early on in your ministry with your husband, try to work out what God has gifted you to do – and get on with doing it. Then you need to learn to graciously decline all the other job offers. If all else fails, point the person in the direction of the nearest deacon or elder. Mrs P: Remember the story of the man, his son and donkey? Well, in listening to others and acting on everything they said cost him a lot. Be led my the Spirit of God not the "spitting" of man.
Develop a Thick Skin
Some of us are born with thick skins –
others of us have to learn to develop one. I am a sensitive soul and it has
taken me a long time to learn to take criticism. But in this calling your
husband will constantly be on the receiving end of criticism – and you will
come in for your fair share too. Some will be obvious and some will be veiled,
from what you wear to church, to how you dress your kids, to how you spend your
money.By the very nature of the job, some church members feel they have the right to point out everything they don’t like – to your husband and about your husband. If you are like me, you would rather hear criticism about yourself than about your husband. So swallow hard, withdraw those claws that are about to pounce, and take some time. It’s always good to reflect on what grain of truth there may be in any criticism and deal with it before dealing with the rest. Mrs P: This is something we should take to heart. Thick skin is not meanness it's about thinking about the meaning of things you hear - there may be something beneath the surface but be careful on what you let get under your skin. I shared an experience of a time I wanted to so defend myself when someone lied about me - worse still, she did it in front of me. It's not any better if it was behind my back though. My take-away from that experience was to not expend time trying to defend myself - time will tell - and it did. Thank God that He's our Defender - another "D."
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