This week, I just want to focus on “External affairs” - everybody else & how you interact with them. Again, my comments are in purple font.
Avoid the Comparison Trap and Keep Juggling
We all do it, whatever our walk in life. Our husbands do it too – but that’s another story. I remember when I was a new pastor’s wife, we spent some time with a seasoned pastoral couple – and I felt so inadequate. I was a young Mum with two very young children, we had moved from N. Ireland to Switzerland to pastor an international church – and this was our first church. The other pastor’s wife had years of experience behind her, her children were much older and she seemed to be involved in so many ministries at her church. When I (enviously) asked her what all she was doing, she told me. But then (wisely and sensitively) she added: ‘You are at a different stage. You have young children at home. All that will come later for you.’ I was thankful for that perspective. Mrs P: The interesting thing is that there's no reason to "rush" because there will always be Ministry matters to deal with. Conversely, there are some "Mummy matters" that must be attended to at a particular time in the life of our child(ren).Years later, I was indeed involved in several different ministries in church. But what I have found is that, particularly as women, we are juggling several balls in the air at once. Those balls change so quickly from one season of life to another that we have to constantly reassess which balls we need to keep in the air and which balls we can drop. Mrs P: In deciding which ball to drop, realize that something that may be a rubber ball to someone would be a glass ball to you. This is another reason to be wise and not compare yourself to anyone else (see 2 Cor 10:12)
Maintain Friendships outside the Church
You will need a good friend or two to share things with – and experience has taught me that sometimes it is possible to have one or two good friends within the church and sometimes it isn’t. Through the years we have served in ministry, I have been truly blessed to have had one or two good friends within the church, friends I could share with and pray with regularly. (But if you do have special friends within the church, it is best to refrain from making those friendships obvious within the church.) However, sometimes things can become complicated if there are problems within the church so it may be prudent to maintain one or two good friendships outside as well. Then these are safe places where you can share without the waters being muddied by inter-personal loyalties. These are friends you can pray with – regularly – and support one another when the going gets tough. It also helps you gain perspective when you can seek advice from someone who is not part of your own church. Mrs P: I shared how God has blessed me with the opportunity to "pray openly"** lf you don't already have someone you can "pray openly" with, believe me when I say you need someone who wears "similar" shoes as you do. Seek a fellow Mrs. Pastor to share and pray with. References:
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