You matter...

A few months ago, our church members wanted to surprise my husband and to thank him for how he's positively impacted their lives. I felt that was a really nice gesture. I was particularly touched when one lady said, we want you to sit beside him when we put up our "show"; to which I said...

"Pastor Treatment"

Sometime ago I was thinking about how the prophetic words of my pastor have come to pass in my life over and over again. For me it is a great privilege to see the word of God come to life in my life and of course the life of others. The Bible clearly advises: "Believe in the LORD your God, and you shall be established; believe His prophets, and you shall prosper."

(2 Chron 20:20 - NKJV)

Each time the word of the Lord from my pastor's mouth comes to pass it's a reaffirmation that he is indeed the servant of God and I must continue to God in his life - and of course honor him. I then started asking myself if I give my husband the same kind of honor and treatment as I give to my pastor who I look up to. To be clear, my husband is my pastor and too often those lines get blurred as it should be - or should they? I'm not really sure if they should or shouldn't so I'll let you decide as you read on...

To avoid burnout...

...write it down

...reach out for resources

The Bible is such a rich source that keeps giving...you can find a word for any and every situation in life.

I take Habakkuk 2:2-3 literally - "And the Lord answered me and said, Write the vision and engrave it so plainly upon tablets that everyone who passes may [be able to] read [it easily and quickly] as he hastens by. For the vision is yet for an appointed time and it hastens to the end [fulfillment]; it will not deceive or disappoint. Though it tarry, wait [earnestly] for it, because it will surely come; it will not be behindhand on its appointed day." (Amplified)

Marriage comes before Ministry...

I was opportuned to attend a Pastors' Wives Conference and it was interesting and illuminating to hear some of the issues that some Mrs. Pastors are facing.

On the first night, this topic dropped in my spirit - Marriage comes before Ministry...before God and even in the dictionary. Before we dive into this topic, let's be clear...Marriage is between a man and a woman - opposite genders - no more no less. Ok, let's go on.

As I was saying, marriage comes before ministry. Ok, let me back up for a second here...I am not saying that you must be married before you can go into ministry. What I am saying is: even if you or your husband was called into ministry before you got married to each other, you must reprioritize so you get the right results.

I daringly say this to Mr & Mrs Pastor: it is more important to preserve and protect your marriage than it is to preserve and protect the ministry. Ah! Yes ah! Remember the ministry is God's work...the church is God's bride. Let me pause here to say:

Dear (male) Pastors, take care of your bride - let God take care of His.

Too many marriages are in deep trouble because of the wrong priorities when it comes to these 2 "M" words - I won't even add children into the mix for now...

Marriage is God's idea so why would anyone think that their ministry is more important than their marriage? The only other thing more important than your marriage, is your personal relationship with Him. I encourage you to invest quality time and emotions in your relationship with God and your marriage - you'll see the fruits your ministry. Otherwise you'll have to deal with more thorns & tares in ministry than you need to - I join you to say: "God forbid!"

Watch your words...

Words make the world go round and also go round the world faster than you can imagine so we need to watch our words. Last week, we said we should T.H.I.N.K. about and before we speak.

Words are like eggs, once spoken (or broken) can never be "contained." It's always more pleasant to break an egg - an make an omelette or something similar than to make a mess.

To help put this in perspective, I've put different renditions of Proverbs 12:18 - a verse I recommend we commit to memory...and meditate on before we speak...

NLT:

Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.

The Message:
Rash language cuts and maims, but there is healing in the words of the wise.

God's Word Translation:

Careless words stab like a sword, but the words of wise people bring healing.

Good News Translation:

Thoughtless words can wound as deeply as any sword,

but wisely spoken words can heal.

English Standard Version:

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, 

but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

NIRV:

Thoughtless words cut like a sword. 

But the tongue of wise people brings healing.

Napoleon Hill gave the same advice slightly differently: 

“Think twice before you speak,

because your words and influence will plant the seed of

either success or failure in the mind of another.”

We are in a unique position to make or mar with our words - the choice is ours...watch your words.

Words travel and act fast...watch your words.

"Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit—you choose." (Prov 18:21 - Message)

Watch your words... 

T.H.I.N.K.

Someone blessed me with this by email...so I decided to be a blessing too.

Alan Redpath once formed a "mutual encouragement" fellowship at a time of stress in one of his pastorates. The members subscribed to a simple formula applied before speaking of any person or subject that was perhaps controversial.

T - Is it True?

H - Is it Helpful?

I - Is it Inspiring?

N - Is it Necessary?

K - Is it Kind?

Paul wrote, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."  (Philippians 4:8 - NIV)

I like this rendition: And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.  (Philippians 4:8 - NLT).

In trying to be a virtuous woman and walk worthy of my calling as a Christian woman, wife, mother & Mrs. Pastor, I hold this other verse close to heart:
"When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.

(Proverbs 31:26 - NLT).

Thinking before speaking takes conscious effort. Speaking kindly is another kettle of fish. I never cease praying that whenever I open my mouth to speak that there is kindness in my words whether it be in the form of advice or admonition. And now I pray: May this acronym guide our thinking and speaking...Amen.

Suggestion or Instruction?

When you read 1 Kings 11:1 - 10, it's crystal clear how Solomon made a mess of his life. How could someone who started so well end so badly...especially for the man who God made the wisest one that ever lived? A really unenviable ending.

As I thought about it and even as I type, I can't help but make a distinction between instructions and suggestions.

An instruction is: a spoken or written statement of what must be done, especially delivered formally, with official authority, or as an order.*
While a suggestion is: an idea or proposal put forward for consideration.**

Busy Bee

I find the story of Deborah very interesting as well as challenging...especially when we talk about "the other ministry."* I love the way she is introduced: "Deborah, the wife of Lappidoth, was a prophet who was judging Israel at that time." (Judges 4:4 - NLT)

Obviously, being a wife was more important than being a prophetess...a reminder of the priority for being effective in ministry. We must all attend to Marriage matters before Ministry matters - always. The reason is obvious in 1 Cor 7: 1-5 and 1 Peter 3 verses 1,2 & 7 - I'll let you look those up.

I can only imagine how busy she was - she even had to go to war with Barak - to encourage him to obey God. I'm sure there are times like that when we are so caught up in helping others. We must be careful so the buzz of our busy-ness does us not keep us from "hearing" the silent hints from our husbands/family. 

The second element is she even had a Palm named after her - so she was well-known and highly regarded. In contemporary terms, her husband would have been referred to as "Deborah's husband" rather than how the Bible has referred to her as "Lapidoth's wife." There is a lesson in it - no matter how prominent you are, you must never relegate your husband or let anyone else do that. Despite how successful and industrious the Proverbs 31 woman was, "her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders." (Proverbs 31:23-NLT). The fact is no-one can respect your husband any more than you do.

I know of a wonderful Mrs. Pastor (of blessed memory) who had a very successful ministry that reached out to Single and Married people. Despite the fact that the ministry thrived, extended beyond the church and attracted many people to become members of the church, she always made sure it was clear who the Senior Pastor was. She was one busy bee who modelled total submission despite the fact that she was quite a trail blazer in their Ministry. She also kept emphasizing the importance of her husband and family - they were 2nd & 3rd on her priority list after God. I'm sure there are other examples of such women.  
We too can all become and remain examplary Busy Bees too...God helping us.

Fun Fact:

Do you know what Deborah means? According to Wikipedia - Deborah (Hebrew: דְּבוֹרָה, Modern Dvora Tiberian Dəḇôrā ; "Bee")** She sure lived up to her name - she was one Busy Bee that impacted her generation.

References:

* See posting on June 6: http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.com/2011/06/other-ministry.html

**http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deborah 

The Waiting list

On the last day of May, we talked about how we must learn to be flexible. Previously, I used to be upset about having to be so flexible as to put off things that I deemed important but now I've taught myself to find a way to strike a happy balance - to "flow" when I have to and be firm when I just have to be. To do that, I just need to distinguish between what to put on my "To do" list and what to put on my "Waiting list" and what to move from one list to the other. The point is not to put off things till "someday" - an unknown yet very wise person said: "Someday is not a day of the week." The other thing about the "Waiting list" is to realise the truth in the Spanish proverb:

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.

If you are not careful with your tomorrow, you'll get there to find out that you are swamped - again. So I'm working on remaining set in my ways to be flexible and not swamping or overstretching myself with my "Waiting list" of basically things that I know I have to do sometime...

eventually.

The fall-out of having a Waiting list is too many things get deferred e.g. organizing personal space or decluttering. For that, there's help: "The two rules of procrastination:

1) Do it today.

2) Tomorrow will be today tomorrow."

~Author Unknown

Soaked sponge?

Sponges are very useful and handy...you can use them in practically every part of the home - oh yes, I'm sure you know that already.

Well, one day in church, everyone was asked what they learned from a previous message. Too many times we come to church, listen and go home...with no check-up. Some people spoke up - there were some theoretical "the bible says" type responses and some "what I gained" experiential ones and the difference was clear.

Later on, I was saying to my husband is good to give people an opportunity to speak up and share what they learn in church, smaller groups or even any other form of spiritual (Christian), secular or social interaction.

Robert M. Hensel said: “The mind is like a sponge, soaking up endless drops of knowledge.” This is one more reason why I believe that all Christians must deliberately aspire to be a particular type of sponge...