Hat or Heart? (2)

For those of you just joining us, we started on this topic last week.  Apparently, besides the "labels" we have to endure from others, fellow Pastors' wives know that we all come in different shapes and sizes. We already talked about Mrs D (check last week's post here: http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.com/2013/02/heart-or-hat-1.html). This week, we'll move to Mrs B - my comments on clips from the article* are in red font.

The background supporter (“Mrs B”)

The background supporter feels she is a part of the ministry but prefers to work in the background. She helps where she can but does not take a leading role. (Quick note of caution: Knowing that we can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us does not mean that we should do all things). This wife is in a better position to give counsel and advice to her husband and to share in his life and ministry, because she is in a position to observe his work. (Sometimes, that objectivity is a helpful because you can be the "third party"). For example, although she carries no church office, the wife may watch the congregation's responses during a sermon, thus utilizing some of her behind-the-scenes giftedness to the benefit of her husband's ministry and that of the congregation. The pastor will have respect from the congregation because he fills his role without public interference from his wife. (Even if Mrs P is actively involved, there should never be any reason for "public interference). This couple works together, rather than in competition. (I like this complementary way of working...the challenge is where Mrs P feels "under-utilized.") I believe a Mrs B is can be a great mentor too...

Emma Moody "enjoyed a behind the scenes place" yet was a great support to D. L. Moody. Although "she shunned the limelight... her gifts as a teacher were recognized. In Moody's Sunday school she taught a class of about forty middle-aged men. Once, Moody was escorting a visitor through his Sunday school, and the visitor re marked about the propriety of the situation: 'Isn't that lady too young to be a teacher of a class of men like that?' Moody responded that he thought the teacher was handling the class quite well. The visitor agreed but still insisted that it seemed improper. Finally Moody said rather proudly, 'That sir, is my wife.'"¹ Much of the success of Moody's ministry is attributed to his wife's support. The adage "Behind every successful man is a good woman" applies well in this case.

The wife who is a background support to her husband can be so in a virtually unlimited array of ways. Her essential emotional and spiritual support is what is key to her role as a pastor's wife. Just like the cloud of witnesses cheering us on as we run this race of life (see Heb 12: 1-2), I believe a key "duty of each and every Mrs P is being a cheerleader - irrespective of which category you are in. If you do not trust and support your husband, why should anyone else?

(To be continued)

Sources:

* Machamire, Annie: The pastor's wife: detached, supportive, incorporated? https://www.ministrymagazine.org/archive/1999/December/the-pastors-wife
¹ William J. Petersen, Martin Luther Had a Wife (Chepstow, U.K.: Bridge Publishing, 1984),  107,113, 114.