For the past 2 weeks, I've been sharing excerpts from an article* based on the basic groups of pastors' wives as outlined in the 1966 book: Minister's Wife: Person or Position? What does it mean to be in one of those groups i.e. the detached, the background supporter, and the incorporated or active participant? More importantly, which of these groups do you belong to and what can you do to be a better Mrs Pastor irrespective of the "group" you belong to? We've talked about Mrs D and Mrs B, now it's time for Mrs I. Comments in red font mine.
Incorporated participant (“Mrs I”)
The incorporated participant is actively involved in the ministry. Such a wife has in fact found her particular niche a ministry of her own that complements that of her husband. She does not hesitate to take a leading role. This Mrs Pastor more likely sees herself more like a "worker in the vineyard" more than as Mrs Pastor. Her her heart filled with love for God is more obvious than the "Mrs Pastor" hat. She doesn't compete with her husband - rather complements and hopefully compliments him.
Some women, with more assertive or aggressive personalities, may fit into this category of pastoral spouse. This kind of wife is almost an "assistant pastor," always in the forefront. When you are too involved I get concerned - like I've said before: "Except you are...you're not"** Such involvement, however, could create serious complications that the pastor may find difficult to rectify and that may develop uneasy frictions among the congregation and in the marriage. The couple may even tend to compete with one another. This must be avoided as much as possible. I appreciate that it can arise where Mrs Pastor has some apparent strengths that her husband doesn't. All I'd say to any such Mrs Pastor is that she should always remember: Marriage comes before ministry. Being a virtuous wife makes a deeper impression on people than the expression of ministry gifts or talents. However, if their roles are well-defined and there is honest communication between them, a viable team ministry is possible and the congregation can benefit from and even emulate this cooperation. We must be positive examples...in all we do.
Again, although this wife may effectively fill in where her talents lie, some cautionary limits should be in place. The wife should not be seen as superseding the pastor, who is the designated leader of the congregation. Talented as she may be she is not the pastor, but rather, his support person. I agree totally - we must never forget why God created woman in the first place...to be a helpmeet not a hinderance.***
**http://mrs-pastor-and-pastor-mrs.blogspot.ca/2012/01/except-you-areyoure-not.html*** Gen 2: 18 - Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him. (Amplified)
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